logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Mother Quotes

Pictures of a Mother's Day FramePAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you-quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you-don't go biting off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

BATMAN'S MOTHER (work with me): "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    With Friends Like That...

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one…
  • washing machine

    Laundry Husband

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…
  • Default Image

    Smuggler Prosecution

    My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials…
  • Default Image

    Let's See If I Get Anything

    My eldest daughter got married at the end of last summer and is now in the process of…
  • Default Image

    Crocheted Dolls

    There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had…
  • Default Image

    Late For Church

    A young girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could to Sunday…
  • Default Image

    Proper Attire

    Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that…
  • chickens

    Crate of Chickens

    The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had…
  • Default Image

    Truck-Stop Harassment

    A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in.…
  • Default Image

    Signature Birthday Surprise

    A famous author was autographing copies of his new novel in a Cleveland department store.…
  • women coffee

    Fishing Wife

    "So, what's the matter?" asked one woman of her friend over coffee. "I thought you just…
  • Default Image

    Lost In Jail

    I was reviewing my client's case with him in prison when it was announced that visitors…
  • Default Image

    Wedding Tears

    During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at…
  • Default Image

    Rattlesnake Ammo

    An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter…
  • Default Image

    Tourism Promotion

    Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village. "What's this…