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    Goobers In Ditch

    Two Goobers were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we…
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    Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

    (From the Archives back in 1999)1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other…
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    Dance Rejection

    A rather awkward freshman finally got up the nerve to ask a pretty junior for a dance at…
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    Unique Breakfast

    A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read Unique Breakfast, so he…
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    God Will Provide

    A young woman brings home her fiance to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells…
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    Coffee Delivery

    The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the…
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    Expecting

    A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following…
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    Funny Quotes

    Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.- Red Buttons Did…
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    Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

    Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...(especially when you share the same major!) PSYCHOLOGY: Girl…
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    Jar 47

    A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed…
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    Backwoods Labor

    In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the…
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    Ten Commandments

    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and…
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    Understanding the Signs

    Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing…
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    Flu Prayer

    A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to…
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    Take Out For Lunch

    Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of things I needed to…

Pictures of a Mother's Day FramePAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you-quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you-don't go biting off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

BATMAN'S MOTHER (work with me): "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

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