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  • roller coaster

    The Difference of a Year

    Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first…
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    Flower Switch

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…
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    Eyes Gone

    Yesterday I went to the opticians, walked up to the counter and said to the guy on duty,…
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    Goober 911

    Q: Why can't goobers dial 911?A: They can't find the "11" on the phone!
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    The Day Before

    Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles his…
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    One Carton and Six Eggs

    This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males: A wife asks her husband, "Could…
  • weight scale 2

    Suck It In

    I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.…
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    Second Grade Math

    I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about…
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    Smart Bus

    My name is Pastor Jerry Evenson. I pastor a small church in central Idaho on an Indian…
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    Tie Conspiracy

    At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that…
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    Votive Candles

    Visiting St Patrick's Cathedral on a tour of New York City, my daughter and her children…
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    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…
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    Cow Puzzler

    This is a cool puzzler. See if you can follow it - out loud is even better!1. Say COW…
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    Helpful Executive

    A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing…
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    Evil Brothers

    There were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep their ways from…

Pictures of a Mother's Day FramePAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you-quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you-don't go biting off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

BATMAN'S MOTHER (work with me): "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

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