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More Jokes

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    Vacation Report

    Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She…
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    Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery

    1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.2.) Somebody call the janitor -…
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    Cheap Loan

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York…
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    Vice President of Peas

    Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and…
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    Bike Training

    Never having learned to ride a bicycle as a child, I finally decided to do it in my late…
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    More Laws of Life

    * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the…
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    Distraught Senior

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office."Is it true," she wanted to know,…
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    Red Light - Green Light

    Ralph and his friend were driving through town when they came to a red light. Cruising…
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    World's Easiest Test

    Here is the world's easiest test. You should be able to get 100% on this one. 1. How long…
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    Air Boss

    Activated from the Army Reserves for a joint service Arctic exercise, I was assigned to…
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    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey

    Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Turkey: Ingedients: - 1 large turkey - 1 small turkey…
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    TV News

    A chicken crosses the road. Here's how some of the media covers it.Here's our trusty NBC…
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    Golf Meditations

    If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.…
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    Oily Hair

    Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it.…
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    Heavenly Music

    I attend a small village church in rural PA. On any given Sunday, we may have six or…

Pictures of a Mother's Day FramePAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you-quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you-don't go biting off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

BATMAN'S MOTHER (work with me): "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

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