logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Mother Quotes

Pictures of a Mother's Day FramePAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you-quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you-don't go biting off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

BATMAN'S MOTHER (work with me): "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

More Jokes

  • plane passenger window

    On Time

    The passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger…
  • leftovers

    Family Pressure

    Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers: "It gets rough,"…
  • Default Image

    Special Delivery

    It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss…
  • Default Image

    Lost in Bookstore

    A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making…
  • Default Image

    Answering Machine Messages

    *Answering Machine Messages*Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already…
  • Default Image

    Bob Hope Quotes

    Some memorable quotes from Bob Hope:ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only…
  • Default Image

    True Calls to the IRS

    True Calls to the IRSCaller: I want to know if I should file married or single.IRS: Are…
  • Default Image

    One Carton and Six Eggs

    This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males: A wife asks her husband, "Could…
  • A list of 17 points to ponder about life.

    Stuff to Ponder

    1. Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you…
  • Default Image

    Office Answering Message

    "Hello, you have reached an office that thought it was so smart getting all it's…
  • military inspection

    Three Rules

    One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, South Carolina,…
  • Default Image

    Dun in Texas

    A cowboy (named Julius?) rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink.…
  • Default Image

    Wedding Report

    "How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife."Just fine until I asked the bride if…
  • Default Image

    VP Moniker

    The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good…
  • Default Image

    Work Virus

    There is a new virus going around, called "work". If you receive any sort of "work" at…