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    Captain Discipline

    About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a…
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    Texas Cruise

    A Texas rancher, visiting a South Dakota farmer friend, asked him to show him his…
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    Hacker Safety

    The hacker hit the ball into the rough and landed on an anthill.He tried three times to…
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    One Rifle Hunting

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Friendly Golf

    Two friends were beginning a game of golf.The first man stepped up to the tee, hit the…
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    Open Mouth, Insert Foot

    At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with…
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    Goober Guide to Household tools

    A goober's guide to household tools: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it…
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    Pawn Return

    In 1952 I was in the Army and had just arrived in Frankfurt, Germany. I had no money and…
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    Goober Ice Fishing

    A goober wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally,…
  • chef bad

    You Know You Are a Bad Cook When…

    - You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer. - You consider it a culinary success if the…
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    Lost Pigs

    Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered…
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    Shopping Advice

    While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a…
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    Little Johnny Tested

    The school was having trouble with Little Johnny and decided to have him tested by a…
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    No Matter What

    Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they…
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    Manager's Project Buzzword Tool

    Are you a manager and behind in your team's project? Here is a handy tool for helping you…

We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start a baby boomer from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me."

By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?"

"No!!" she said in a loud whisper, "The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."

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