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    If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very…
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    Playing House

    A boy of three and a girl of four, were playing house one day. They played that they were…
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    Bath Note

    Dear Kids,Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath.…
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    Johnny In The Garden

    Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw…
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    Crowded Bus

    It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed. I tried to force my…
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    Teachers About to Retire

    You know you're a retiree-to-be when... 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall…
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    Waking Up Mad

    One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the…
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    Golf Comeback

    (This joke is based on an actual event which is a part of golf lore around the world). A…
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    Unwise Application Lines

    Readers of the Washington Post were asked to compose a very unwise line for a college…
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    Employee of the Month

    Chuck Rogers, a self employed marketing consultant, has won his company's 'Employee of…
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    Cool In The Desert

    Two guys met in the middle of the desert. One was carrying a car door, the other an…
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    You're Not a Kid Anymore When

    You're not a kid anymore when ...* The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is…
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    Reunion Pride

    My wife and I were at my high school reunion.As I looked around, I noticed the other men…
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    Cheap Loan

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York…
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    Sister Cheer Up

    My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening…

We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start a baby boomer from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me."

By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?"

"No!!" she said in a loud whisper, "The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."

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