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More Jokes

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    Swim of Love

    Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Fish Tattoo

    As an obstetrician, I sometimes see unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery.…
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    Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support

    *Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support*"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick…
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    Snake Glasses

    An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very…
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    What Happened

    "What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in…
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    Hypo Teen

    Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was…
  • bored in church

    Sunday Compliment

    The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it…
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    Two Kids

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
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    Garage Keys

    The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.…
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    Baseball Basics

    At one point during a game, the baseball coach said to one of his young players, "Do you…
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    One Room School

    The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room…
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    New Number Request

    Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A medical billing service…
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    Ready, Set, Go

    Two campers, Chris and Michael, are awakened by the sounds of an obviously large bear…
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    First Job Hunting

    Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first real job. She spent an…
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    Check The Mirror

    Harry was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after…
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.

You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.

Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.

Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".

Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.

To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.

Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.

Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.

Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.

Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.

Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.

If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.

The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.

Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.

Bullet proof vests might be.

Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
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