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More Jokes

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    Location Question

    Tiring of the same old buzz cut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went into…
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    Are You The Defendant?

    The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?""No sir,…
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    Hot Shot Pilot

    A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a…
  • colors

    Colorful Grandma

    I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I…
  • self defense

    Self Defense

    During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the…
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    Bunyan Fall

    My son, Bunyan, is a construction foreman. One day he tumbled from a scaffold, managing…
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    Sign Return

    I was on board the USS Kitty Hawk when we docked in the Sri Lankan capital, Colombo.One…
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    Zoo Thank You

    As a volunteer who conducts educational tours of the Zoo, Sally occasionally receives…
  • picture of seeing eye dog

    Can You See Me?

    I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many…
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    Translation Tries

    A Latin American minister was touring the U.S. in an effort to boost financial support…
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    Getting Out

    During a field exercise at Camp Lejeune, N.C., my squad was on a night patrol through…
  • money

    Poor Widow

    A woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at…
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    Jericho Walls

    The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him…
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    Car Fire

    I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames…
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    Shopping Remote

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As…
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.

You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.

Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.

Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".

Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.

To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.

Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.

Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.

Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.

Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.

Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.

If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.

The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.

Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.

Bullet proof vests might be.

Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
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