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More Jokes

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    Miracle Cure

    Doctor Bloom who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis had a waiting room full of…
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    Good Robbery

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Favorite Animal

    Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said…
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    Official ID Card

    My husband, a U.S. Coast Guard pilot, was on an exchange tour with the Royal Navy in…
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    I've Got Shingles

    A fella walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He…
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    Refueling

    Once my wife and I had to take a flight that had 4 other stops before arriving at the…
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    Dignified Exit

    One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed…
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    Packing

    I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in…
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    Skipping School

    The local high school has a policy that the parent's must call the school if the student…
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    Keyboard Jockey Exercise

    For those keyboard jockeys (those with jobs that require sitting at a computer all day)…
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    Cats

    "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.""In a cat's eye, all things…
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    Flight Instructions

    During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and…
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    Larger Than 20

    A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our…
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    Perfect Pet

    A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do…
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    Holding A Job

    A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job.After a visit to…
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.

You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.

Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.

Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".

Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.

To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.

Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.

Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.

Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.

Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.

Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.

If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.

The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.

Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.

Bullet proof vests might be.

Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
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