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More Jokes

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    Blind Date

    After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with…
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    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober driver.…
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    Golf Deduction

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and three other men of the cloth…
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    Top 10 Signs that you company is planning to lay you off.

    10. You frequently overhear the CEO mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-You"9. The guys from the…
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    It Sure Is

    An elderly couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. The husband…
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    Mad Cow Conversation

    Two cows are conversing in a field. The first one says to the other, "Have you heard…
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    Babysitting Reference

    We encouraged our 18-year-old daughter to find a job to help pay for her college…
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    Beware of Bread

    A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD."…
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    Cafeteria Sign

    Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of…
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    Pearl Dream

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Lost In The Translation

    Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of…
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    Where Are We?

    Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they…
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    Read The Label

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…
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    Maine Vets

    Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one…
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    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line

    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line Calls Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny…
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.

You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.

Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.

Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".

Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.

To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.

Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.

Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.

Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.

Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.

Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.

If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.

The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.

Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.

Bullet proof vests might be.

Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
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