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More Jokes

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    Meteor Miss

    As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was…
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    Clergy Golf

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, my brother and three other priests swapped…
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    Time To Go

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    Five Tech Replies

    Five things you don't want to hear from Tech Support: 1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 2. "In…
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    Lawyer Light Bulb Completion

    So many of you threatened to sue me if I didn't supply the end of yesterday's CleanLaugh,…
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    Surgery Headache

    A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump…
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    Husband's Check

    Proud and pleased as she could be, the new, young bride, Mrs. Stanford Strothers, strode…
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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
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    Pig Call

    A church secretary takes a call. The caller says ,"Is the head hog at the trough…
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    Camping Privacy

    Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their…
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    The Chief's Wife

    "NEXT," the conference emcee announced, "we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol,…
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    Ah, Newlyweds

    There are never any secrets! A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached,…
  • woman old

    End Nail Biting

    Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Leroy…
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    Hearing Aid

    While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was…
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    Game Time

    A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled…
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.

You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.

Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.

The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.

Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".

Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.

To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.

Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.

Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.

Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.

Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.

Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.

If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.

The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.

Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.

Bullet proof vests might be.

Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
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