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    Gripe Comments

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form (called a "gripe sheet," at some airlines)…
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    12 Reasons to Buy a New Car

    1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.2. Instead of an…
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    Waiting for Dark

    Preparing for a family vacation, Kathy and Matt explained to their young children that…
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    The Vet and The Doc

    A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
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    Leaky Pipe

    A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the…
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    Bigger Piece

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Dispatch Message

    One night at McCord Air Force Base, I was dispatched to check out the security fence…
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    Diaper Change

    "Here's your problem," says the doctor to the first-time father. "This baby's in serious…
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    Chewed Out Answer

    A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he…
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    If You Go, I'll Go

    A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he…
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    Curfew

    This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m.…
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    Gift Mug

    I had to go on a business trip the day after my honeymoon, so I decided to purchase a…
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    G.I. Excuses

    The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there. One finally ran up, panting…
  • telephone

    Get Your Sister

    A salesman telephoned a household and a young boy answered. "May I speak to your mother?"…
  • stamps

    Helping Out

    For a while my husband and I had opposite schedules. He worked during the day, and I…

- The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

- The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

- The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

- A sure way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

- For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

- Toys multiply to fill any space available.

- Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

- If the shoe fits ... it's expensive.

- Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

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