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    Never Too Old

    Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one…
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    Grandfather Putt

    Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 45-foot, downhill putt.…
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    Clinton Deploys Vowels

    This cleanlaugh is a classic - originally out in 1996. WORLD NEWS: CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS…
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    Flying Blind

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Ten Rules for Good Housekeeping

    Ten Rules for Good Housekeeping 1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when…
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    Kitchen Cry

    Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen…
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    10 Common Canine Complaints

    1. Building mounted fire hose connections are no substitute for a real hydrant. 2. "Why…
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    Guard Dog

    My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a…
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    Who's On First - Computer Version

    *Who's On First - Computer Version*ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help…
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    Fuel Trudge

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
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    Rice Preference

    The young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of…
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    Actual Signs

    Bucharest Hotel Lobby - "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time you…
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    Innocent Question

    A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not…
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    Great Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    A Great Job

    A guy came home to his wife and said, "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m.…

While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot.

"NO! NO! NO!" she screamed.

"Lizzie," her mother scolded. "That's not polite behavior."

At that, the girl yelled even louder, "NO, THANK YOU! NO, THANK YOU! NO, THANK YOU!"

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