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More Jokes

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    Pupil's Question

    A young pupil asked, "Master, what is fate.""Ah, my son, it is what has brought great…
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    Scared Smart

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
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    No Hero of Mine

    "King David used to be a hero of mine, but not anymore," little Brodie told his mother…
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    Shopping Plan

    In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with…
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    Ring Appraisal

    An acquaintance of mine whose daughter was about to be married decided to give her a…
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    On Time

    The passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger…
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    Your Turn

    A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried…
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    Kitchen Help

    My brother-in-law came home to an empty house one day and decided he would start dinner.…
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    Getting Ready

    A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey,…
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    Passing Notes

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a…
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    Library Lost and Found

    Arriving back at the dorm late one evening, my roommate explained that she had gotten…
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    Signs that the Starship Enterprise is Nearing the End of It's Warranty

    - Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.- Digital speedometer on helm console stuck…
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    You Might be a Pastor If...

    ~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only…
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    Baseball Class

    A professor at the Michigan State University was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
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    Convent Card

    As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I…

New Axioms of the Nineties

1. Home is where you hang your @.
2. The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
8. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
9. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don't byte off more than you can view.
15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
16. What boots up must come down.
17. Virtual reality is its own reward.
18. Modulation in all things.
19. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
20. Know what to expect before you connect.
21. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
22. Speed thrills.

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