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More Jokes

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    Back To School

    After raising 4 kids, and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the…
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    How Was I Born?

    A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" "Well,…
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    Quarter Rush

    On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started waiting tables, the…
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    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
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    Reasons Not To Wash

    If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to…
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    The Perfect Worker

    From a reference letter . . . 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2…
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    Reunion Pride

    My wife and I were at my high school reunion.As I looked around, I noticed the other men…
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    Threatening Letters

    The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening…
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    Kids Say the Darndest Things

    Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because…
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    Rental Description

    On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver…
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    You're not a kid anymore when....

    You're not a kid anymore when....1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.2.…
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    Sleeping Juror

    A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: "Your honor,…
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    Flu Notes

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well-meaning husband who has…
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    Police Report

    A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were: Q -…
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    All You Can Drink

    There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that…

New Axioms of the Nineties

1. Home is where you hang your @.
2. The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
8. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
9. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don't byte off more than you can view.
15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
16. What boots up must come down.
17. Virtual reality is its own reward.
18. Modulation in all things.
19. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
20. Know what to expect before you connect.
21. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
22. Speed thrills.

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