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More Jokes

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    Flu Prayer

    A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to…
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    Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

    1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down…
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    Hickbonics

    The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Breaker, Breaker Dog Buddy

    My son Ward owns a shiny green four-wheel-drive truck. He also owns a 110-pound black…
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    Resume Help

    My husband, an auto mechanic, was looking for higher-paying work and asked me to write…
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    Civil War Re-enactment

    Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the re-enactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's…
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    Y1K Problem

    Canterbury, England. AD 999. An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout…
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    CD Generation

    After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover…
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    You Might Be an Engineer If...

    * You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.* You chuckle…
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    Circus Try Out

    A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to Morris, the…
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    Boat Compromise

    My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one…
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    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…
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    No. 5 Bus

    A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The…
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    Career Cooling

    Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My…

New Axioms of the Nineties

1. Home is where you hang your @.
2. The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
8. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
9. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don't byte off more than you can view.
15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
16. What boots up must come down.
17. Virtual reality is its own reward.
18. Modulation in all things.
19. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
20. Know what to expect before you connect.
21. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
22. Speed thrills.

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