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More Jokes

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    Ironic Call

    One day an employee came into work with both of his ears bandaged. His boss asked him…
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    Does Your Dog Bite?

    A man was standing on the curb reading a newspaper, A great big dog was curled up at his…
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    Pants Dilemma

    A young man came home from the office and found his bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel…
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    Starting To Date

    Alan asks, "I know you're crazy about that little daughter of yours, Steve. What are you…
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    Party Favor

    After classical violinist Fritz Kreisler was invited to a society party, the hostess…
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    Bathroom Sign

    Thanks to Norma K. Appel for sending today's CleanLaugh. Dear Pastor Tim, this is a true…
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    Accident Prayer

    As my five-year-old-son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car…
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    Bank Hiccups

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Moth Madness

    A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a…
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    Chicken Neighbour

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
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    Pygmy Hunter

    A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing…
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    Things That Make You Go "Ummmmmmm????"

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Instead of talking to your…
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    Thanksgiving Grace

    My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were…
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    Ball Markers

    A Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell…
  • lawn ornaments

    Lawn Ornaments

    Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of…

Top ten things you don't want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to settlement on your new home:

1. "I think unexplained crop circles add a unique flair to any home's garden."

2. "Actually, it's only the rear portion of the yard that overlaps the ancient Indian burial ground."

3. "Yes, the last owner did donate the house to the Hell's Angels, but I'm told that the judge has ordered them not to come within 50 feet of it."

4. "One bleeding mirror doesn't necessarily mean it's haunted."

5. "Your neighbor has assured me that, technically, they're not 'killer' bees."

6. "Even if there was a full-scale mudslide, it's unlikely that it would reach as far back as your property."

7. "It's quite common for roaches to grow that big even when not in the presence of radioactivity."

8. "Did you know that the punk band "Grave Robber" holds their practice sessions right next door?"

9. "It's true that they died in the house, but the prosecutor was never actually able to prove it was murder."

10. "You can barely hear the sheet metal factory at night."

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