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More Jokes

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    Future Price of Roses

    The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to…
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    Don't Repeat

    My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man.…
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    Home Mechanic Tools

    Home Mechanics Tools and their usage: HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the…
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    Laboratory Cells

    My mother works in a laboratory and is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So…
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    Perfect

    There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a…
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    Fishing Trip

    "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip…
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    Senate Comeback

    A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in…
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    Healthy Life

    In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of…
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    Sharing by Example

    A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to…
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    Natural Antibiotic

    While serving as associate pastor in a church in the California gold country, I had an…
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    Permitted To Learn

    As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that…
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    Hunting Feedback

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
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    Husband's Check

    Proud and pleased as she could be, the new, young bride, Mrs. Stanford Strothers, strode…
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    Haircut ID

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
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    Horse Woes

    Two cowboy friends, Wally and Dallas, each bought a horse one summer. They enjoyed riding…

Top ten things you don't want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to settlement on your new home:

1. "I think unexplained crop circles add a unique flair to any home's garden."

2. "Actually, it's only the rear portion of the yard that overlaps the ancient Indian burial ground."

3. "Yes, the last owner did donate the house to the Hell's Angels, but I'm told that the judge has ordered them not to come within 50 feet of it."

4. "One bleeding mirror doesn't necessarily mean it's haunted."

5. "Your neighbor has assured me that, technically, they're not 'killer' bees."

6. "Even if there was a full-scale mudslide, it's unlikely that it would reach as far back as your property."

7. "It's quite common for roaches to grow that big even when not in the presence of radioactivity."

8. "Did you know that the punk band "Grave Robber" holds their practice sessions right next door?"

9. "It's true that they died in the house, but the prosecutor was never actually able to prove it was murder."

10. "You can barely hear the sheet metal factory at night."

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