More Jokes

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    Range Cancelled

    At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second…
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    Put Him Back

    When my now 14-year-old daughter was 3 and her younger brother was getting into…
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    Accountancy Exam

    Dewey wanted to be an accountant, so he went and took the accountancy exam.Examiner: If I…
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    A Good Haircut

    Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went…
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    Golfing Seniors

    "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty…
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    Blind Date

    After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with…
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    What Happened

    "What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in…
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    No Rest

    The doctor had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and…
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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
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    Police Pastor

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    How To Speak English Properly

    *How to speak English Properly* Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. Prepositions are…
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    Merchant Captain

    One of the world's most famous merchant captains died, having long been admired by his…
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    Young Man's Disorder

    A young man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder.…
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    You Know You're Getting Old When

    You know you're getting there when... Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt…
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    Shovel Need

    One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have…

Top ten things you don't want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to settlement on your new home:

1. "I think unexplained crop circles add a unique flair to any home's garden."

2. "Actually, it's only the rear portion of the yard that overlaps the ancient Indian burial ground."

3. "Yes, the last owner did donate the house to the Hell's Angels, but I'm told that the judge has ordered them not to come within 50 feet of it."

4. "One bleeding mirror doesn't necessarily mean it's haunted."

5. "Your neighbor has assured me that, technically, they're not 'killer' bees."

6. "Even if there was a full-scale mudslide, it's unlikely that it would reach as far back as your property."

7. "It's quite common for roaches to grow that big even when not in the presence of radioactivity."

8. "Did you know that the punk band "Grave Robber" holds their practice sessions right next door?"

9. "It's true that they died in the house, but the prosecutor was never actually able to prove it was murder."

10. "You can barely hear the sheet metal factory at night."

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