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More Jokes

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    One-liners

    *43.3% of statistics are meaningless! *Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.…
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    Word of Mouth

    A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.…
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    Time To Go

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    Golf course, may I help you?

    Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars.…
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    Dental Mommy

    For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey was coming to my office to have me,…
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    Do You Have?

    A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do…
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    Signs Found In The Kitchen

    So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! Ring bell…
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    Picture Menu

    I stopped at the local Burger King for a cold drink and was reading the menu over the…
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    Three Chairs

    A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to…
  • A boy's perspective

    Johnny and Remembrance

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large…
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    Labor Costs

    A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with…
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    Jean Squeeze

    A woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable to her when she squeezed into a…
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    New Appointment

    Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.Judge: And why is…
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    --- WARNING, DANGER! ---

    --- WARNING, DANGER! --- I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering…
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    Patriotic Father

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…

house brickTop ten things you don't want to hear from your real estate agent when you go to settlement on your new home:

1. "I think unexplained crop circles add a unique flair to any home's garden."

2. "Actually, it's only the rear portion of the yard that overlaps the ancient Indian burial ground."

3. "Yes, the last owner did donate the house to the Hell's Angels, but I'm told that the judge has ordered them not to come within 50 feet of it."

4. "One bleeding mirror doesn't necessarily mean it's haunted."

5. "Your neighbor has assured me that, technically, they're not 'killer' bees."

6. "Even if there was a full-scale mudslide, it's unlikely that it would reach as far back as your property."

7. "It's quite common for roaches to grow that big even when not in the presence of radioactivity."

8. "Did you know that the punk band "Grave Robber" holds their practice sessions right next door?"

9. "It's true that they died in the house, but the prosecutor was never actually able to prove it was murder."

10. "You can barely hear the sheet metal factory at night."

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