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More Jokes

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    Found Wallet

    While shopping in a supermarket in Washington, D.C., I heard over the PA system:"A wallet…
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    Goober Golf Dispute

    Two goobers were starting a round of Golf together. On the first tee, the first guy…
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    Ladle Rat Rotten Hut

    Ladle Rat Rotten Hut Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder…
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    There's Teacher

    The children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to…
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    Dignified Exit

    One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed…
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    Three Expectant Fathers

    Three expectant fathers were in the waiting room. The nurse came out of the delivery room…
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    Haircut

    Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.Susie: It grew on company time.Boss: Not all…
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    Heredity

    Father, Mother and their 3 sons, John (the oldest), Mike (middle) and Steve (youngest)…
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    Things Moms Would Never Say

    ~ "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"~ "Yeah, I used to skip school a…
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    Where's Mommy

    One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he…
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    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
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    Goober Grave Readers

    Three goobers, Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were walking home late one night and found themselves…
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    Vow Changes

    Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in…
  • letter-writing

    Rejected Rejection

    Re: Rejected Rejection Dear Ms. Ezell: Thank you for your letter of July 17. After…
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    Baby Growth

    Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our…

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

The Judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

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