More Jokes

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    Car Sale

    Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the…
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    Morning Run

    The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a…
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    Paper View

    I sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through the file that contained my…
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    Getting Younger

    Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body.…
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    Future Son In Law?

    Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Shakespearean in Dallas

    A kid and his mom were walking on the sidewalk in Dallas. The kid, being 100% Texan, upon…
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    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
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    Census Taker

    An old man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in…
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    Little Bars of Soap

    Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff…
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    New Phonetic Alphabet

    The same old standard phonetic alphabet (which you would use to describe spelling…
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    Australian Military Helicopter Simulation

    This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related…
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    Lost Money

    The receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a co-worker. She…
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    Roughing It

    A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip that the husband…
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    Grandpa's Day Out

    Grandpa's Day Out A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa…
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    The English Language

    Lets face itEnglish is a stupid language.There is no egg in the eggplantNo ham in the…

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

The Judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

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