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    Alcohol Consumption Warnings

    Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the…
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    Didn't See That Coming

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her…
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    20 Like You

    A factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish…
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    Apples for Teachers

    There are about 50 million American children enrolled in elementary school and high…
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    Bad Sign

    A little boy just couldn't learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the…
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    Yellow Canaries

    A lady went to a pet shop."I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner."We…
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    Fax Hint

    As a professor at the Air Force Institute of Technology, I taught a series of popular…
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    Prison Sentence

    Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all…
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    A Dollar Per Point

    A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests…
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    Restaurant Return

    An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an…
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    Top Ten Gift Comments

    What do you say when you get a gift you *Really Don't Like*.10. "Well, well, well, now,…
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    Distraught Senior

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office."Is it true," she wanted to know,…
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    Taxi Grad

    A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his…
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    Blood Flow

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter…
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    Kid Quotes

    "Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals."- Donna Maria G, age 9 "Laugh…

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

The Judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

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