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    New Convert Help

    He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the edges, but he was recently…
  • violin

    The Violin

    Little Hope was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to…
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    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…
  • Picture of Hong Kong Skyline

    English Subtitles

    The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong. * I am darn…
  • chanel-no-5

    Wrong Chanel

    The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of…
  • Kit Kat

    Favorite Candy

    Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked it up. She said, "KitKat," and…
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    Senior Citizen Discount

    "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my…
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    Perfect Mate

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to…
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    Setting The Table

    Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for…
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    Quarter Rush

    On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started waiting tables, the…
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    FROLIC Memo

    To: All Employees From: Management Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season…
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    "Not" Working

    Dear Secretary of Agriculture, My friends, Darryl and Janice, over at Jonestown,…
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    Quiz Query

    My daughter's 5th-grade class had been studying astronomy.One morning at breakfast she…
  • cooking

    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Traffic Laughs

    * Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place…

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

The Judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

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