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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
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    First Apartment

    Having moved into his first apartment, our son invited my husband and me for a visit. As…
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    Skeleton in the Closet

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    40 Year Solution

    My parents have been married for almost 40 years. Whenever anyone asks my Dad how they've…
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    Positive Start

    How to start your day with a positive outlook.1. Open a new file in your PC.2. Name it…
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    Deck Praise

    I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my…
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    Fishing Mirror

    A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another…
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    Secret Of Life

    A woman walking down a residential street, noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on…
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    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection is A Little Slow

    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection is A Little Slow1. Text on Web pages displays…
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    Sinner

    The preacher spent his whole sermon relating the evils of sin and how all men are sinners…
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    A Few Shelves

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    License Picture

    A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's…
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    Mirror Honesty

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full…
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    Chose Your Weapon

    Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn…
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    Professional Animal Trainer

    As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit.…

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."

The Judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

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