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  • Top ten dad joke

    Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

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    Just Visiting Here

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    Flight Fear

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    Looking Back

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    No Horns

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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

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    Senior Ailments

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    And Then They Voted

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    Rookies

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    Crate of Chickens

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    Does That Hurt

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    Can Cure

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    The Tie

    A man goes into a restaurant and the waitress stops him."Sorry sir, you need to wear a…
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    Basement Pitch

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Vice President of Peas

    Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and…

suitcasesAfter an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me - all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area.

A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"

"Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. "They're all mine."

The customs agent began his interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"

"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."

The official allowed us to pass without opening a single suitcase.

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