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More Jokes

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    Things to do When Your ISP Goes Down

    1. Dial 911 immediately.2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past…
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    Healthful Place

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab,…
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    Men's Thesaurus

    "IT'S A GUY THING"Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,…
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    Abbott and Costello - Computer Version

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an…
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    "Grace"ous Host

    A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old…
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    Just Visiting Here

    The tall, handsome, confident gentleman walked over to the girl and made a disparaging…
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    Answering Machine Messages

    *Answering Machine Messages*Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already…
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    First Time Skydiver

    A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems…
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    Passed Note

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Birthday Wish

    A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday."I'd like a little…
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    Old Dodge

    A man was driving along in his beat up old dodge, when suddenly it broke down. He was…
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    Manager's Project Buzzword Tool

    Are you a manager and behind in your team's project? Here is a handy tool for helping you…
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    Fed Up

    Long ago, on New York's lower east side, Mrs. Spinelli and Mrs. Goldberg were bragging…
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    Duelling Judges

    Tyler and Katz, two judges, were each arrested on speeding charges. When they arrived in…
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    Build It and They Will Come

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…

...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances.

...all the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.

...before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.

...if you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.

...you cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.

...before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

...the Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

...when they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

...the Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

...you ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, "Just once."

...no movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes

...you see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

...all the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel

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