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More Jokes

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    Happy Marriage

    On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy…
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    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
  • boots

    Boot Lesson

    A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on. He asked for…
  • garage

    Signs Your Garage Needs to be Cleaned

    - It just entered itself in the heavyweight division on BattleBots. - I don't care what…
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    Oarsmen News

    One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal Nile barge goes down to speak to the oarsmen…
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    Bible Hunt

    One fellow was violently tearing through his Bible in a desperate search when a friend…
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    Signs the Childhood is Over

    Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore. Driving a car doesn't…
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    Graceless at Grandma's

    Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.…
  • investing

    Investments

    STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will…
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    Funeral Weather

    As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day.The deceased was a little old lady who…
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    Rough Flight

    The pastor of our church began his sermon with this story:"I was on a plane last week,…
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    Bare Bones Moving

    The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping…
  • phone handheld 2

    Spelling Information

    "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that,…
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    Found Purse

    As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the…
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    Murphy’s Laws of Parenting

    - The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. - The…

...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances.

...all the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.

...before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.

...if you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.

...you cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.

...before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

...the Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

...when they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

...the Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

...you ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, "Just once."

...no movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes

...you see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

...all the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel

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