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    Calling In Sick

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Golf Comeback

    (This joke is based on an actual event which is a part of golf lore around the world). A…
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    Label Warning

    My in-laws gave us a beautiful knife set--top quality.The accompanying cutting board,…
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    The Gas Men

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
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    Fuel Trudge

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
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    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…
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    Picking a Winner

    The bookie slowly counted out the money into the old lady's wrinkled hands."Lady," he…
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    Things That Make You Go "Ummmmmmm????"

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Instead of talking to your…
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    Long Passwords

    My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on…
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    Baby Help

    Nancy's nephew was 4 when she was pregnant with her first kid. She allowed him to place…
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    Laundry Comments

    A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating…
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    10 Most Wanted

    Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station.…
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    Penny Problems

    After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard…
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    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection is A Little Slow

    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection is A Little Slow1. Text on Web pages displays…
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    Broken Bone

    While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a…

Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.

In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreaded exams I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.

studying aheadI drained all the coffee, and brewed a new pot,
No longer caring that my nerves were all shot.
I stared at my notes, but my thoughts they were muddy,
My eyes went a blur, I just couldn't study.

"Some pizza might help," I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.
I'd nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.

When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
She wore a white toga, she started to bellow:

"What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?"
"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! On last year's exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and last minute crams!"

Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.
"Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy finals to all, and to all, a good test!"

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