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    Answering Machine Messages

    *Answering Machine Messages*Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already…
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    Dog Calls

    Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty…
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    Little Encouragement

    The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly…
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    Hand Signals

    A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were…
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    Gender Request

    After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery…
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    Personalized Plate

    While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my personalized license…
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    Firehouse Training Session

    At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen…
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    Marriage Counselling

    A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of…
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    VP Moniker

    The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good…
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    Labor Costs

    A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with…
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    When I Was Your Age

    A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one…
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    Goober Farmers

    There were two farmers, neither one had much common sense. They were told by the Forman…
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    Why Ask Why

    *Why Ask Why*Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and…
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    You know you're growing old when..

    You know you're growing old when..You've come to the annoying realization that your…
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    Library Argument

    On a visit to the library I happened to notice a man and a woman, both deaf, signing with…

A street person approached a passer-by and said, "Sir, would you give me $100 for a cup of coffee?"

"That's ridiculous!  Do you think anyone would really pay that much for a cup of coffee?" said the man.

"Just a yes or no, buddy," the beggar growled. 

"I don't need a lecture about how to run my business."

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