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    Sermon Feedback

    They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant. An example of this…
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    Phrases for When you Receive Unwanted Gifts

    Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not…
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    A Goober Wins

    A goober goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drink it. He looks on the…
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    Deer Prayer

    The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season.Or…
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    Taps System

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    Australian Vacation

    On a vacation to Australia, a Texas farmer meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking to…
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    Out of This World Bait

    My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden.…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    Quarter Rush

    On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started waiting tables, the…
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    Grandfather Putt

    Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 45-foot, downhill putt.…
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    A Good Haircut

    Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went…
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    Trojan Virus Warning

    Hey Hector, This was forwarded to me by Cassandra--it looks legit. Please distribute to…
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    Cat Musings**********

    I think this is pretty much how cats think in their heads - you can tell by the way that…
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    First Words

    The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word-ever.One afternoon, as he sat eating his…
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    Inclusive Poster

    Anxious to include as many minorities, religions and disabilities as possible, the human…

Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug. As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of hamburgers the giant chain has sold.  That number now stands at 99 billion burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB).  Within months or even weeks, that number will roll over to 100GB.  McDonald's signs, however, were designed years ago, when the prospect of selling one hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote.  So the signs have only two decimal places.  This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts predict, will convince the public that, in over thirty years, no McDonald's hamburgers have ever in fact been sold, causing a complete collapse of consumer confidence in McDonald's products.  The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost certain to force the already-troubled company into bankruptcy.  This, in turn, will push the teetering American economy over the brink, which, finally, will complete the total devastation of the global economy, ending civilization as we know it, and forcing us all to live on beetles.  "The people who know-the sign-makers-are really scared of 100GB", one expert said.  "I don't know about you, but I'm digging up a copy of THE FIELD GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN INSECTS and heading for the hills."

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