More Jokes

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    Goober Olympic Questions

    Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the…
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    Mail Worker

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Buying Shoes

    A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes."How do they feel?" asked…
  • picture of seeing eye dog

    Can You See Me?

    I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many…
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    The Cowboy's New Car

    Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex" said the…
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    Movie Night

    My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time…
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    Class Reunions

    Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is…
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    Cinderella Question

    The tax accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter…
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    Camping Privacy

    Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their…
  • How to be handy around the house - in 10 easy steps.

    Ten Step Guide to Being Handy Around the House

    1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an…
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    Farmer Joe & Bessie

    Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the…
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    Elf Pet Peeves

    *Elf Pet Peeves*7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives…
  • pop can

    Pop Please

    While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She…
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    Apples for Teachers

    There are about 50 million American children enrolled in elementary school and high…
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    Sibling Takings

    As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day, I overheard some of the children…

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as warning to others.

Ray's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems.  It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

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