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    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…
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    Holiday Merger

    MAJOR HOLIDAY MERGER ANNOUNCED Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and…
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    The Rules of Bureaucracy

    1. Preserve thyself.2. It is easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem.3. A penny…
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    Tennis Talk

    A manager was told by his doctor to take up some sport for exercise so he decided to play…
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    Secret Of Life

    A woman walking down a residential street, noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on…
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    Goober at Interview

    The executive was interviewing a young goober for a position in his company. He wanted to…
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    Parts is Parts

    A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the…
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    Second Wave

    While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the…
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    Four Little Words

    Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch.…
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    Advertising Terms Explained

    *Advertising Terms Explained*NEW - Different color from previous design.ALL NEW - Parts…
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    Lost In Canada

    An American and his wife were driving in Canada and got lost on the prairie. After what…
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    Priory Priority

    The 104-year-old building that had served as the priory and primary student residence of…
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    Wedding Album

    At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember…
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    Yosemite Bears

    A married couple was vacationing in Yosemite. The wife expressed her concern about…
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    Goober & Cell Phone

    A young man wanted to get his beautiful goober wife something nice for their first…

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as warning to others.

Ray's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems.  It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

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