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    Economics Exam

    Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question:…
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    Picture Favor

    Dining out one evening, I noticed six teenagers boisterously celebrating some event at a…
  • preacher

    Top Ten Signs You're in for a Long Sermon

    10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler. 9. The pews have…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Lost Gas Cap

    David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven…
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    Backwoods Labor

    In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the…
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    Macho Dude

    A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho", and went out walking with one of…
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    Inclusive Poster

    Anxious to include as many minorities, religions and disabilities as possible, the human…
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    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line

    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line Calls Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny…
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    Late at Walmart

    Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on…
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    Running Away

    A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He…
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    How To Interpret Employment Ads

    "Competitive Salary" - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. "Join…
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    Dial A Prayer Twist

    They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but…
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    Sixteen Steps to Build a Campfire

    1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left…
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    Gripe Comments

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form (called a "gripe sheet," at some airlines)…

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as warning to others.

Ray's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems.  It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

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