logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Marriage Marathon

    With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the…
  • Default Image

    One-Liners

    If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Nothing in the known universe…
  • Default Image

    New Appointment

    Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.Judge: And why is…
  • Default Image

    Actual Church Signs

    Reported to be actual church signs.... 1. Free Trip to heaven. Details inside! 2. Try our…
  • Default Image

    Economics Exam

    Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question:…
  • Default Image

    Traffic Laughs

    * Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing your place…
  • Default Image

    Brightness In Action

    *I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the…
  • Default Image

    Driving Worries

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
  • Default Image

    Pole Contest

    A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers.The next day, two…
  • Default Image

    New Friend Sincerity

    Last summer my wife and I met a couple at a restaurant. After lunch, the women decided to…
  • Default Image

    Hostage Situation

    Do you know anyone in your office like this?At the data-entry company where I work, the…
  • Default Image

    Ancestry

    The following was overheard at a recent 'high society' party."My ancestry goes back all…
  • woman old4

    No Stairs

    An older lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the…
  • picture of mom and child

    If They Had a Doting Mother

    *If They Had a Doting Mother* MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I…
  • Default Image

    Sunday Complaints

    After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this…

1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
3. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
4. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
5. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
6. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
8. You! Off my planet!
9. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
10. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
11. Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
12. Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way!
13. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
14. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
15. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
16. And your cry-baby whiny opinion would be...?
17. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
18. If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil...
19. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
20. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
21. Allow me to introduce my selves.
22. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
23. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
24. Better living through denial.
25. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
26. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
27. Adult child of alien invaders.
28. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
29. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
30. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
31. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
32. Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
33. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
34. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
35. Adults are just kids who owe money.
36. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
37. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
38. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
39. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
40. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
41. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
42. Is it time for your medication or mine?
43. I plead contemporary insanity.
44. And which dwarf are you?
45. I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
46. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
47. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
48. Meandering to a different drummer.
49. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

Powered By JFBConnect