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    Graduation Speech Notes

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    Card Name

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    Computer One-liners - Part 3

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    Bathroom Exasperation

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    Hurry and Sign Up

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    Bible Confusion

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    Brave Firefighters

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    Dangling Participles

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    Bible Hunt

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    Goobers With Shovels

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    Shoplifter Excuse

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.  When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn't budge.  The usher became impatient.

"Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.  In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success.
Finally, they summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony."

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