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More Jokes

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    Memory Improvement

    I knew that as I was getting older, and finally able to admit it, certain things were…
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    Directions

    A friend was thinking about buying a new house in the country and asked me to come out…
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    Three Escape

    Three women escaped from prison....one was a goober. They ran for miles until they came…
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    Signs Your SUV Is Too Big

    Signs Your SUV Is Too Big~ The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull the…
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    Little Tim's Goldfish

    Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.…
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    Excerpts From Actual Letters Sent To Landlords

    1. "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared." 2. "This…
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    Alternative Baptism

    As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a…
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    Turkey Shopping

    It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few…
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    Build It and They Will Come

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Voting Tips

    A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each…
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    I'm Dead

    A husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning. He takes her hand,…
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    Tea Service

    One day my mother was out and my dad was looking after me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old…
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    Lost in Bookstore

    A friend and her young son, Reid, were browsing in a large bookstore. Engrossed in making…
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    Get Well Soon

    A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.The doctors…
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    Amish Bumper Sticker

    While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage with the following…

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.  When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn't budge.  The usher became impatient.

"Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.  In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success.
Finally, they summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony."

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