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    Coffee, No Cream

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
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    Two by Fours

    Man injured by fallen raccoon A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a…
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    Poor Widow

    A woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at…
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    Getting Fat

    When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room…
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    Something Nice For Dad

    Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his…
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    Bungee Jumping

    Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the…
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    Dear Dog

    Dear Dog,I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp which…
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    Stone's Throw

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location."It's only a stone's throw away…
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    Vacation Ride

    While vacationing in Alberta, Canada, my husband and I went horseback riding. Before the…
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    Compliments to the Chef

    I have a reputation for not being a fantastic cook. One evening I worked particularly…
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    Beauty Watch

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.…
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    New Appointment

    Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.Judge: And why is…
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    The Toddler Diet

    Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that…
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    Methuselah Diet

    Methuselah ate what he found on his plateAnd never, as people do nowDid he note the…

1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your lawn.

2. Use it as building material. (This is actually what the Ancient Egyptians used to build the Great Pyramids.)

3. Keep one under your pillow for home defense.

4. Send one to the junk mail company with a note asking them to take you off their list.

5. It's colorful, use it as a Yule Log.

6. Carve the Presidents' faces in it and submit as a science or art project.

7. Use it as a base for flower arrangements.

8. Donate to the local airport for use as airliner wheel blocks.

9. Grind a few up and give it back to your parents in a bag marked "lawn fertilizer."

10. For a community project, sink a few in the ocean and build an artificial reef.

11. Tie one to each foot when you walk through deep snow to keep your feet dry.

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