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    Payment Plan

    Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store.Pete said…
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    Trooper Delivery

    One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto…
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    Rustic Dining

    As a trail guide in a national park, Danny ate with the rest of the seasonal staff in a…
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    Prison Joke Book

    It was Mickey's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells…
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    Rules for Writers

    1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences…
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    Curve Hand

    A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark, stormy night. The night…
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    Deputy Goober

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Goodbye From George

    George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and…
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    Best Man

    A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats…
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    Slow-Driving Grandma

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police…
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    Sick At Church

    Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden vomit…
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    Remember When

    An old couple is sitting in their living room when the old woman leans over and says to…
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    One Seat Allowed

    A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by…
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    Out of This World Bait

    My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden.…
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    Possessed Computer?

    For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers…

computer keyboardI don't know about you, but I find those "Out-of-the-Office" e-mail auto-replies very ordinary and tedious. Here are some fun alternatives:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Pointy-Haired Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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