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More Jokes

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    No Rest

    The doctor had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and…
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    Cowboy Joe goes to Church

    Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a…
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    Rare Steak

    Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the…
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    Updated Punishment

    "When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was…
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    Helping Sam at Church

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    Instructions for Microsoft's New TV Dinner

    You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honour…
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    Basic Training

    After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to…
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    PC Assets

    My husband refused to learn how to operate a PC. I tried to get him to realize how…
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    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…
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    Counting the Days

    A fellow cop from our precinct had only a few months left on the job, and he could always…
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    2 Requests

    An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final…
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    Sinner

    The preacher spent his whole sermon relating the evils of sin and how all men are sinners…
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    Computer Customer Quotes

    "Computer Customer Quotes" or "Why goobers shouldn't own computers!" Customer: "I have…
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    Merchant Captain

    One of the world's most famous merchant captains died, having long been admired by his…
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    Favorite Candy

    Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked it up. She said, "KitKat," and…

I don't know about you, but I find those "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-replies so ordinary and tedious. Here are some fun alternatives.

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Pointy-Haired Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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