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    Romantic Switch

    Although he had packed his bag for a business trip the night before, my husband planned…
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    Take Out For Lunch

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    Cute Nurses

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    Build It and They Will Come

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    Principal Rounds

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    Singing Practice

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    Landing Check

    I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in…
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    Innocent Question

    A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not…
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    Sayings About Aging

    Thoughts on Growing Old ~ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else…
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    Goober Hunters

    Two Goober hunters were dragging their dead deer down a trail back to their car. Another…
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    Raise Refusal

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
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    Sermon Sub

    A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He…
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    Pig Call

    A church secretary takes a call. The caller says ,"Is the head hog at the trough…
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    Cheap Suit

    The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the…
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    Grandma's Meat Loaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…

computer keyboardI don't know about you, but I find those "Out-of-the-Office" e-mail auto-replies very ordinary and tedious. Here are some fun alternatives:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Pointy-Haired Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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