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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
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    That Line Thing

    If you work with someone like this, you have my condolences. One of our servers crashed.…
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    Jericho Walls

    The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him…
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    Chopsticks

    A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with…
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    Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

    You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the…
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    Bulletin Bloopers #2

    More Church Bulletins Bloopers - The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which…
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    Signs the Childhood is Over

    Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore. Driving a car doesn't…
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    More, More Church Bulletin Bloopers

    The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug abuse."Correction: The following typo…
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    Number Married

    I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't…
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    Know Your Friends

    One day, a little boy visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an…
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    The Perfect Worker

    From a reference letter . . . 1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2…
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    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
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    Memory Improvement

    I knew that as I was getting older, and finally able to admit it, certain things were…
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    Dress Code for Seniors

    Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go…
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    Nesting Birds

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…

computer keyboardI don't know about you, but I find those "Out-of-the-Office" e-mail auto-replies very ordinary and tedious. Here are some fun alternatives:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Pointy-Haired Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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