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More Jokes

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    I Hope I'm Sick

    A fellow was sitting in the doctor's waiting room, and said to himself every so often,…
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    Obituary Notice

    A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently…
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    The Top 15 Lines You'll Never Hear in a Western

    15 "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist."14 "Gentlemen, rather…
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    Egg Timing

    A friend of mine, a new bride, was on her honeymoon and spent one night at her spouse's…
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    Van Problem

    The fist knocking on the door belonged to a cop. Bracing for the worst, the yard foreman…
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    Hurry and Sign Up

    Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army…
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    How Do You Spell That

    Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the…
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    Check Your Bill

    A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big…
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    Suck It In

    I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.…
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    Inclusive Poster

    Anxious to include as many minorities, religions and disabilities as possible, the human…
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    Geraniums

    A man walked into a flower shop and after looking around for several minutes, asked the…
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    Airline Rage

    As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next…
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    Telephone Answering Ordeal

    A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she…
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    Physics Purpose

    One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med…
If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.

Avenge yourself ~~~ live long enough to be a problem to your children.

The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car.

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.

Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car.

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

There are only two things a child will share willingly:  communicable diseases and his mother's age.

Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.
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