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    Virus Warning!

    WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!IF YOU RECEIVE A GIFT IN THE SHAPE OF A LARGE WOODEN HORSE DO…
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    Turkey Poem

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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    Holiday Merger

    MAJOR HOLIDAY MERGER ANNOUNCED Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and…
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    Environmental Problem

    This was an actual letter from and reply to the Michigan Department of Environmental…
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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
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    How Business Communications Work

    How Business Communications WorkMEMORANDUMFrom: Headquarters - New YorkTo: General…
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    Offended Goober

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    Mom's Special Brownies

    "Mom's Special Brownies"Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.Melt 1 cup…
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    Yard Sale Anger

    A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said…
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    Ten Dresses

    My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When…
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    Cereal Adjustment

    Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now…
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    Finishing

    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So…
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    Chicken Answers

    Before you get to today‚Äôs supersized CleanLaugh, a bit down this e-mail (post number…
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    Fishing Trip

    "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip…
If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.

Avenge yourself ~~~ live long enough to be a problem to your children.

The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car.

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.

Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car.

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

There are only two things a child will share willingly:  communicable diseases and his mother's age.

Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.
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