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More Jokes

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    Honeymoon In England

    On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London's Gatwick…
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    Sidewalk Meeting

    Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"…
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    Playing House

    A boy of three and a girl of four, were playing house one day. They played that they were…
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    Perfect Spouse

    A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse.…
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    2 Requests

    An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final…
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    PC Assets

    My husband refused to learn how to operate a PC. I tried to get him to realize how…
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    Last Minute Turkey

    It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on…
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    Healthy Life

    In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of…
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    Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions

    My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not…
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    Check The List

    Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of things I needed to…
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    Realistic Fishing Proverb

    Give a man a fish and he will eat all day. Teach a man to fish and he will go out and buy…
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    Happy Birthday Call

    A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then…
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    Pawn Return

    In 1952 I was in the Army and had just arrived in Frankfurt, Germany. I had no money and…
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    Radiator Cap Repair

    I remember an old car I used to own. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I…
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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.

Avenge yourself ~~~ live long enough to be a problem to your children.

The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car.

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.

Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car.

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

There are only two things a child will share willingly:  communicable diseases and his mother's age.

Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.
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