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More Jokes

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    Changing Plates

    My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas…
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    Brazilian Jungle

    Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the Brazilian jungle. "I'm here," declared…
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    The Night Before Y2K

    'Twas the night before New Year,and all through the nation,We awaited Y2K,the millennium…
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    Stair Climbing

    Most mornings I go to the local YMCA to exercise. One morning there was a big man working…
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    Real 911 Calls

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots…
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    Number Married

    I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't…
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    Accents

    About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old…
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    Walking Recovery

    An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected…
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    Second Try

    Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one…
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    Mouse Mom

    A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks…
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    Vacation Term Translation

    *Vacation Term Translation*In case any of you are still thinking about picking a vacation…
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    Take Fore

    A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his…
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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
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    Mom's Phone

    Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a…
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    2 Bad Days

    You're NOT having a bad day ... these people had bad days: 1. The average cost of…
If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.

Avenge yourself ~~~ live long enough to be a problem to your children.

The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car.

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.

Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car.

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

There are only two things a child will share willingly:  communicable diseases and his mother's age.

Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.
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