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More Jokes

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    One Carton and Six Eggs

    This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males: A wife asks her husband, "Could…
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    Size 8 Shoes

    A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well…
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    Q & A

    Q. Why did Freud cross the road?A. Hmm, and when did you first notice this interest in…
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    Sidewalk Preacher

    A sidewalk preacher stood on a soapbox downtown and started a rousing sermon on…
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    Locked Out

    First I had to work late. Then I discovered that I'd locked my keys in the car. But the…
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    Just Visiting Here

    The tall, handsome, confident gentleman walked over to the girl and made a disparaging…
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    Back To School

    After raising 4 kids, and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the…
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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
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    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Window Washer

    There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from…
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    Talking Horse

    A jogger, running down a country road, is startled as a horse yells at him, "Hey! Come…
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    Accident and Interview

    Thorn was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off…
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    Tycoon Banter

    A Texas Oil Tycoon and an Alaskan Oil Tycoon were debating on which state had the most…
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    Warning Sign

    Vacationing in Alaska, I couldn't help but notice all the warnings about bears posted in…
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    Pie Manners

    In a country home that seldom had guests, the young son was eager to help his mother…
If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.

Avenge yourself ~~~ live long enough to be a problem to your children.

The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car.

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.

Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car.

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

There are only two things a child will share willingly:  communicable diseases and his mother's age.

Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.
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