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  • soccer-ball-and-net

    *Stupid Things Actually Said By Commentators In The World Of Soccer*

    *Stupid Things Actually Said By Commentators In The World Of Soccer* 1. Well, it's…
  • classroom

    Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

    * "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because…
  • Picture of Pulled Over By Police Car

    Ticketing Mom?

    Thanks to Kathy Edwards for submitting this true story. She wrote, "Pastor Tim, This…
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    Pig Feed

    There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the…
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    Dead Horse

    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says…
  • car w driver3

    The Haircut

    A young man had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister…
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    Kids Say the Darndest Things

    Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because…
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    Jack's Will

    Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's last will…
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    In-Flight Humor

    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture,"…
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    Biggest Lie

    Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you…
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    Wallet Thanks

    A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following…
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    Ten Things a Mom Doesn't Want to Hear

    1. I swallowed a goldfish. 2. Your lipstick works better than crayons. 3. Does grape…
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    That's the Way . . .

    Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put…
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    New Car Warning

    A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…

Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work. So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise. "Does anyone know," I asked a few guys, "what the speed limit is in our parking lot?"

The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up. "That depends. Do you mean coming in to work or leaving?"

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