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More Jokes

  • drum

    Silent Drums

    An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him…
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    Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

    1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down…
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    Vacuous Goober

    It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."Her question…
  • woman pointing

    Welcome Home

    A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a…
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    You Know You're Getting Old When

    You know you're getting there when... Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt…
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    Pregnant Stamp

    A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first…
  • her son is a lawyer

    Lawnyer

    When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her ability to answer the…
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    Elderly Couple Sharing

    A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that…
  • alligator

    Alligator Teeth

    A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she…
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    Toilet Brush

    My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his…
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    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
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    Rain or Shine

    It was raining quite hard as U.S. Marine trainees assembled outdoors for a briefing. On a…
  • This old woman would never drink beer.

    Bottle Drive

    The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious but…
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    Counting the Days

    A fellow cop from our precinct had only a few months left on the job, and he could always…
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    Dangling Participles

    Dangling Participle Alert!~ The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10", with wavy…
A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet.

A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot.

He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'.  If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam' ".

The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious.  So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings.

The parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you goober!!!"
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