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    Grandpa's Manners

    "Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady. "What's to be proud of?"…
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    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…
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    Doody Solution

    A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in…
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    Measuring Up

    The following question appeared in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:…
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    Queen Size

    A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking…
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    Lawyer Questioning

    There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came…
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    Shopping Advice

    While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a…
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    What a Teacher Means

    What a teacher says and what he/she really means.1. Your son has a remarkable ability in…
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    Golf Quitter

    Two men were chatting casually at work over the water cooler. The conversation turned to…
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    Pastor Comeback

    A local Pastor joined a community service club, and the members thought they would have…
  • Poorly worded ad causes trouble.

    Sewing Machine Ad

    The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last…
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    Get Your Own

    One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and…
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    Television Bloopers - British Style

    "Liz Taylor is recovering in hospital after having had a benign tuna removed from just…
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    Top Ten Signs You're in for a Long Sermon

    10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler. 9. The pews have…
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    The Flu Do-Si-Do

    Flu season will be here soon. Here's a square dance you can call when it does.The Flu…

After classical violinist Fritz Kreisler was invited to a society party, the hostess urged, "Of course, you'll bring your violin."

"In that case," Kreisler said, "my performing fee is two thousand dollars."

Insulted (or caught out), the woman huffed, "In that case, I shall ask you not to mingle with my guests."

"In that case," Kreisler replied, "my fee will only be one thousand dollars."

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