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    Kids Say the Darndest Things

    Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because…
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    Morning Sickness

    Sarah dropped in on her sister Molly and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring…
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    Name Please

    A county traffic policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit.…
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    Needled

    At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going…
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    Doctor in the House

    A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in…
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    Frugal - to save

    Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her…
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    How To Write A College Paper

    How to write a College Paper 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted…
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    Haircut Conversations

    *A Woman's Conversation About a Haircut:*Oh! That's so cute!Do you think so? I wasn't…
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    Sibling Takings

    As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day, I overheard some of the children…
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    Taa-Daa!

    A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet, and instructs the guy to hit him…
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    New Recruit

    As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had…
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    Cultural Ages

    A Hebrew teacher stood in front of his class and said, "The Jewish people have observed…
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    New Neighbor

    My quiet Saturday morning ended abruptly when my 12-year-old son, Billy, and one of his…
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    More Incorrect

    Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had…
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    Grandma and God

    My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are…

An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good night's sleep.

He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not," he asks. She answers back, "Because I'm dead."

The husband says to her, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."

The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead, because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts!"

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