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More Jokes

  • computer keyboard

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer: - You've backed-up your desktop by…
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    Daaaad!

    A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:"Da-ad...""What?""I'm…
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    Death Statistic

    A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death…
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    New Axioms of the Nineties

    New Axioms of the Nineties1. Home is where you hang your @.2. The e-mail of the species…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #2

    C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
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    Textbook For Sale

    Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the…
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    Early

    Ok, what is the deal with "The early bird gets the worm"? He gets up early, and all he…
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    Dear Milkman…

    Dear Milkman..."Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one.""Please…
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    Pillsbury Dough Boy Dead at 71

    Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He…
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    Kid Say

    The best laughs I have known in life have been from my own children. I have captured…
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    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…
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    Redecorating Help

    A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of…
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    What He Says - What He Means

    What He Says - What He Means"I'm going fishing."Really means: "I'm going to stand by a…
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    Grandma and Computer

    The computer's swallowed grandmaYes' honestly' its true.She pressed 'control' and…
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    Government Car

    As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment…

An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good night's sleep.

He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not," he asks. She answers back, "Because I'm dead."

The husband says to her, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."

The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead, because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts!"

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