An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good night's sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not?" he asks.
She answers back, "Because I'm dead."
Her husband is confused. "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."
The wife is adamant, "No, I'm definitely dead."
Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
His wife is certain. "I know I'm dead, because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts!"