More Jokes

  • Picture of a teacher

    Substitute Teacher

    Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute…
  • turkey dinner hotline

    Turkey Hotline

    TRUE STORIES FROM THE BUTTERBALL Turkey Hotline, where people call to get advice on how…
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    Age Hat

    In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years…
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    Disguising Presents

    Three-year-old Elizabeth was helping her mother Melinda wrap a present for her father.…
  • cowboy tack

    Call Me Tex

    A policeman saw a man dressed in full cowboy garb -- hat, chaps, duster, six-shooters,…
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    Missed Delivery

    Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So, when one irate…
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    Picture Menu

    I stopped at the local Burger King for a cold drink and was reading the menu over the…
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    Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care

    *Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care*Q. What does HMO stand for?A. This is…
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    Wire Guard

    Gale-force winds and frigid temperatures had taken their toll. Snapped electric wires…
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    Mother's Intuition

    I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a…
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    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Safe Keeping

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    The French Legionnaires

    There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from…
  • university building

    Battle Hymn of Term Finals

    Mine eyes have seen the horrorOf the ending of the termIt has poisoned all my spiritsLike…
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    Mirror Honesty

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full…

An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good night's sleep.

He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not," he asks. She answers back, "Because I'm dead."

The husband says to her, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."

The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead, because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts!"

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