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More Jokes

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    Cars Wars

    A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a…
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    College Nerves

    While touring the University with some college-bound friends, I saw an advertisement that…
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    Dog Review

    A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash.He stops her and…
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    Chicken Answers

    Before you get to today‚Äôs supersized CleanLaugh, a bit down this e-mail (post number…
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    Gold Watch

    A boss to a retiree:"As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold…
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    She Was Such A Goober

    She was such a goober. . ... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.. she tripped over a…
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    Tax Forms

    It was April and Tax Day was looming when an elderly woman showed up at my desk at the…
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    Landing Check

    I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in…
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    No Horns

    The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that…
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    Abbott and Costello - Computer Version

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an…
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    Lost Bible

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…
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    Tough Kids

    Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were."I'm so tough", said the first…
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    Taxi Craze

    Jill had to grab a cab to get to a meeting uptown. She hailed one down, got in, and told…
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    Rough Flight

    The pastor of our church began his sermon with this story:"I was on a plane last week,…
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    Photo Apology

    Photographer Ruth Van Bergen specialized in celebrity portraits. One wealthy woman…

Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs.  Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs.  Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show", "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.

Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.

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