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More Jokes

  • barber pole

    Duelling Barbers

    A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established…
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    Three Day Silence

    My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what…
  • accent boy

    Accents

    About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old…
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    Accident and Interview

    Thorn was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off…
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    Logic Amongst the Sciences

    A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people…
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    Police Pastor

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Call To Mom

    A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother.…
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    Ad Woes

    A disappointed soft drink salesman returned from his Middle East assignment. His boss…
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    Calories That Don't Count

    Dieting is a lot easier when you factor in recently determined calorie counting…
  • picture of an old tv

    Daytime Television

    A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing…
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    Intercom Repair

    My friend's son worked at a fast-food restaurant when he was in high school. One night…
  • computer-keyboard

    Laws of Computing

    *Laws of Computing* * When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to…
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    In the Bag

    I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on…
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    Reward Change

    A lady lost her handbag at the mall. An honest young lad found it and returned it to her.…
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    No Wonder English is So Hard to Learn

    No wonder English is so hard to learn. We polish the Polish furniture.He could lead if he…

Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs.  Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs.  Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show", "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.

Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.

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