logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Pastors' Good News/Bad News

Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs.  Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs.  Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show", "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.

Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Religious Lady On Plane

    There was a religious lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so…
  • Default Image

    Slow-Driving Grandma

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police…
  • Default Image

    Coffee, No Cream

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • man resting

    Commercial Reward

    After breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for John to comment on my first attempt at…
  • Default Image

    CD Generation

    After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover…
  • Default Image

    Go Get Grandma

    When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging…
  • Default Image

    Wedding Report

    "How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife."Just fine until I asked the bride if…
  • pinata

    Moving Label

    Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who…
  • child happy

    Children's Attempts at Hymns

    *Children's Attempts at Singing Well Known Hymns* Sometimes kids get things a…
  • couple elderly

    I'm Dead

    A husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning. He takes her hand,…
  • Default Image

    Curbing Church Growth

    25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth1. Begin your message with the…
  • calendar

    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
  • Default Image

    Surgeon Roast

    Harry hosted a dinner party. One of his guests was a surgeon. While deftly carving the…
  • childrens hands

    Starting Over

    The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have…
  • Default Image