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More Jokes

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    In Charge

    One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and her parents were sitting on the couch chatting.…
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    Haircut

    Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.Susie: It grew on company time.Boss: Not all…
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    Fuel Trudge

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
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    The Half Cake Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight.She'd made her family's…
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    Jury Age

    Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice.…
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    Reward Change

    A lady lost her handbag at the mall. An honest young lad found it and returned it to her.…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the…
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    Get the Picture

    Two weeks after my one-year-old's photo shoot, I returned to the studio to view the…
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    Hashing It Out

    I was working as a short-order cook at two restaurants in the same neighborhood. On a…
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    Let Me Feel Your Pain

    It can buy a house but not a home. It can buy a bed, but not sleep. It can buy a clock…
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    Passing Pain

    An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good…
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    Picture Menu

    I stopped at the local Burger King for a cold drink and was reading the menu over the…
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    Sheriff Vet

    The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang,…
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    Ask Jeeves

    My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the…
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    Hearing Loss

    A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used…

Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs.  Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs.  Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show", "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.

Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.

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