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More Jokes

  • school house

    Johnny's F

    Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back at him. Freddie…
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    Jasper and the Unbaked Yeast Rolls

    We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the…
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    Exercise Routine

    Here's the exercise program I am using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
  • paramedic

    Awareness Test

    Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented.…
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    Arm Injury

    The brilliant lawyer F. E. Smith once defended a bus driver against claims that his…
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    Goober Crossing

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Jericho Walls

    The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him…
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    First Salute

    The first salute received by a freshly commissioned Second Lieutenant is always…
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    Professional Animal Trainer

    As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit.…
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    Signs You Need A New Lawyer

    1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.2. He tells you that his…
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    Memory Improvement

    I knew that as I was getting older, and finally able to admit it, certain things were…
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    IRS Call

    When the minister picked up the phone, Special Agent Struzik from the IRS was on the…
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    Bump Start

    About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the…
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    What Happened

    "What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in…
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    Sightseeing at Alcatraz

    A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase…

Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs.  Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs.  Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show", "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.

Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.

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