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    Rabbi Schwartz Answers His Phone

    "Hello is this Rabbi Schwartz?" "It is" "This is the IRS. Can you help us?" "I can." "Do…
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    Listening In

    A long time ago, before the days of cell phones, I needed to call home, and the only pay…
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    Lost Balloon

    A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots…
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    Keeping Warm

    (switch this one around to suit your favourite/favorite make) Chevy has added wires to…
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    Kitchen Help

    The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and…
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    Prison Sentence

    Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all…
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    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
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    Good Singer

    In a Brooklyn upscale pet shop, an elderly woman burst into the store. "I want to buy a…
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    Prepared Chicken

    "May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"…
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    Eyes Gone

    Yesterday I went to the opticians, walked up to the counter and said to the guy on duty,…
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    Parachute Charity

    I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of…
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    Police Baste

    A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to…
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    She Was Such A Goober

    She was such a goober. . ... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.. she tripped over a…
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    Chicken Answers

    Before you get to today‚Äôs supersized CleanLaugh, a bit down this e-mail (post number…
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    Dog Quotes

    "Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." - Unknown "Whoever said you…

My husband refused to learn how to operate a PC. I tried to get him to realize how important it is, since all our financial records are stored on disks.

"What if something happens to me?" I asked him. "You wouldn't know what our assets are."

"Honey," he replied, "if something happened to you, I wouldn't need any money."

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