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    Taa-Daa!

    A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet, and instructs the guy to hit him…
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    Marine Comeback

    During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from…
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    Job Interview

    Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer…
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    Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement

    New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.You will never get the urge to use the…
  • kangaroo2

    How High Can You Go?

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty…
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    'Twas the Night Before Finals

    'Twas the night before finals,And all through the college,The students were prayingFor…
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    Headstones

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to…
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    How To Give Your Cat A Pill

    I. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were…
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    G.I. Excuses

    The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there. One finally ran up, panting…
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    Shopping Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Happy Birthday Ten Again

    A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love…
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    Cheap Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6am wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    Birthday-Anniversary

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a 'birthday/anniversary card.'…
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    How Do You Spell That

    Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send…
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    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line

    Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Line Calls Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny…

phone helpCaller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please.

Operator: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct?
Caller : Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.

Caller: I'd like the number of the Scottish knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: I can't find a town called 'Woven'? Are you sure?
Caller: Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.

Caller: I'd like the RSPCA, please.
Operator: Where are you calling from?
Caller: The living room.

Caller: The water board, please.
Operator: Which department?
Caller: Tap water

Operator: How are you spelling that?
Caller: With letters.

Caller: I'd like the number for a Reverend in Cardiff, please.
Operator: Do you have his name?
Caller: No, but he has a dog named Ben.

Caller: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators, please.
Operator: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?
Caller: Er, yes.

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