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    Do Not Disturb

    After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a…
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    Signs You May Be Canadian

    SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You…
  • office write

    Security Tips

    The following are notices that homeowners can place in a few strategic locations to keep…
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    Overdue at the Movies

    Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, my daughter and her husband broke the monotony…
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    Things That Make You Go "Ummmmmmm????"

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Instead of talking to your…
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    Young Love

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Quickest Way to York

    A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to…
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    Amazing Anagrams

    Not strictly humor, but truly amazing....Dormitory = Dirty RoomThe Morse Code = Here Come…
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    Swallowed a Coin

    The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and his mother ran out in…
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    Visiting Oxford

    An guy was visiting Oxford University for the first time. He stopped a passing Oxford don…
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    Lawyer Light Bulb Completion

    So many of you threatened to sue me if I didn't supply the end of yesterday's CleanLaugh,…
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    Grandma and God

    My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are…
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    Prayer Positions

    Three ministers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman…
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    Caught Sleeping

    Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of…
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    London Building

    A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of…
Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not have received:

1.  Thanks a lot!

2.  My word!  What a gift.

3.  Well, well, well ...

4.  If I hadn't put on so much weight recently it would have fitted me perfectly.

5.  Gosh, I hope I never lose this. We're always losing things around here.

6.  It's great; but I'm worried about the envy it may create.

7.  Just my luck to get this on the very Christmas I promised to give all my gifts to charity.

8.  Unfortunately, I am about to enter MI5's Witness Protection programme.

9.  Frankly, I don't deserve this.

10. Really, you shouldn't have.
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