Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not have received:
1. Thanks a lot!
2. My word! What a gift.
3. Well, well, well ...
4. If I hadn't put on so much weight recently it would have fitted me perfectly.
5. Gosh, I hope I never lose this. We're always losing things around here.
6. It's great; but I'm worried about the envy it may create.
7. Just my luck to get this on the very Christmas I promised to give all my gifts to charity.
8. Unfortunately, I am about to enter MI5's Witness Protection programme.
9. Frankly, I don't deserve this.
10. Really, you shouldn't have.