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    College Laundry

    My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He…
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    Fried Eggs

    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly her husband burst…
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    Accountancy Exam

    Dewey wanted to be an accountant, so he went and took the accountancy exam.Examiner: If I…
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    Construction Noise

    During a beautiful spring afternoon, I was attending a music festival. Just as I stopped…
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    Flower Oil

    When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a…
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    Game Question

    The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded…
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    Prison Joke Book

    It was Mickey's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells…
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    Help Line

    It's clear why these people needed to call a "help" line.------Customer: "I've been…
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    Typo Apology

    "We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme…
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    Flower System

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his…
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    Died In The Service

    One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque…
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    Robbie's Move

    Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new…
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    What Mom Really Wants

    Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day 10. To be able to eat a whole candy…
  • a toy car

    Toy Disclaimers

    Honest Toy Disclaimers * No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.…
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    College Nerves

    While touring the University with some college-bound friends, I saw an advertisement that…
Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not have received:

1.  Thanks a lot!

2.  My word!  What a gift.

3.  Well, well, well ...

4.  If I hadn't put on so much weight recently it would have fitted me perfectly.

5.  Gosh, I hope I never lose this. We're always losing things around here.

6.  It's great; but I'm worried about the envy it may create.

7.  Just my luck to get this on the very Christmas I promised to give all my gifts to charity.

8.  Unfortunately, I am about to enter MI5's Witness Protection programme.

9.  Frankly, I don't deserve this.

10. Really, you shouldn't have.
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