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More Jokes

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    Connecting Chaos

    The fur began to fly when my fellow airline passengers learned there was a chance they…
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    Friendly Golf

    Two friends were beginning a game of golf.The first man stepped up to the tee, hit the…
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    Jury Duty Prejudice

    A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He…
  • office

    Memo Differences

    Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    Curfew

    This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m.…
  • bride and groom

    Number Married

    I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't…
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    Three Important Words

    At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married…
  • milk

    Milkman Notes

    These notes left for milkmen came from the UK, so you'll notice a slight, endearing…
  • aging-beauty

    Getting Older

    Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long…
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    Doctor's Advice

    A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw…
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    Happy Marriage

    On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy…
  • phone-old-school

    It Sure Is

    An elderly couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. The husband…
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    Surgery Beauty

    Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his…
  • house2

    Reap What You Sow

    Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture…
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    Found Wallet

    While shopping in a supermarket in Washington, D.C., I heard over the PA system:"A wallet…
Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not have received:

1.  Thanks a lot!

2.  My word!  What a gift.

3.  Well, well, well ...

4.  If I hadn't put on so much weight recently it would have fitted me perfectly.

5.  Gosh, I hope I never lose this. We're always losing things around here.

6.  It's great; but I'm worried about the envy it may create.

7.  Just my luck to get this on the very Christmas I promised to give all my gifts to charity.

8.  Unfortunately, I am about to enter MI5's Witness Protection programme.

9.  Frankly, I don't deserve this.

10. Really, you shouldn't have.
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