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More Jokes

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    Correction

    Frustrated at always being corrected by my hubby, I decided the next time it happened I…
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    Thoughts On Genealogy

    *Thoughts On Genealogy*~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my…
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    Golfer's Tale

    A group of golfers were telling tall stories. At last came a veteran's turn. "Well," he…
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    Shakey's Cure

    Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I`ve got trouble. Every time I get into…
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    Sore Mover

    Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving…
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    Still More Bulletin Bloopers

    Several members who have been in the hospital are not on their way to recovery, for which…
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    Airport Mistletoe

    It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to…
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    How To Photograph A New Puppy

    1. Remove film from box and load camera.2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw…
  • Mount Union College Ohio

    Medieval History

    My friend, an American history professor at Mount Union College in Ohio, was asked to…
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    Denture Feedback

    A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set…
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    Duck Food

    Duck : Do you have any duck food? Storekeeper: No Duck : Do you have any duck food?…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over for speeding by a police officer. As the officer was writing the…
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    Cops and Robbers

    Esther Cohen had three very active boys. One summer evening she was playing cops and…
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    Ski Wax

    As a ski instructor, I sometimes tease my little pupils. Once I told seven year old Luke…
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    Full Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and…
Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not have received:

1.  Thanks a lot!

2.  My word!  What a gift.

3.  Well, well, well ...

4.  If I hadn't put on so much weight recently it would have fitted me perfectly.

5.  Gosh, I hope I never lose this. We're always losing things around here.

6.  It's great; but I'm worried about the envy it may create.

7.  Just my luck to get this on the very Christmas I promised to give all my gifts to charity.

8.  Unfortunately, I am about to enter MI5's Witness Protection programme.

9.  Frankly, I don't deserve this.

10. Really, you shouldn't have.
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