logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
  • Default Image

    PC Assets

    My husband refused to learn how to operate a PC. I tried to get him to realize how…
  • Default Image

    Finish Paving

    While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands…
  • Default Image

    Taste It

    One afternoon a waiter served a bowl of chicken soup to an elderly gentleman. As he…
  • ice cream3

    Extra Fudge

    I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot…
  • Default Image

    Driving Flash

    A man was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash.Astounded…
  • Default Image

    Jury Duty Prejudice

    A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He…
  • Default Image

    Call To Mom

    A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother.…
  • Default Image

    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
  • Default Image

    Dining Problem

    Everyone had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week's…
  • Default Image

    Car Trip

    Friends took their first-grader on a car trip to Canada. To help pass the time, the boy…
  • Default Image

    Strange Exam Answers

    1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in…
  • Default Image

    Making Babies

    A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We…
  • Default Image

    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
  • Default Image

    Rabbi Schwartz Answers His Phone

    "Hello is this Rabbi Schwartz?" "It is" "This is the IRS. Can you help us?" "I can." "Do…

Here are some actual maintenance complaints generally known as squawks or problems submitted recently by Qantas pilots to maintenance engineers.  After attending to the squawks prior to the aircraft's next flight, the maintenance crews are required to log the details of action taken as a solution to the pilots squawks.  The following are some recent squawks and subsequent responses by maintenance crews.

(P) is the problem logged by the pilot, and (S) marks the solution and action taken by maintenance engineers.

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

(P) #2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) #2 propeller seepage normal - - #1, #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.

(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Something tightened in cockpit.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to more believable level.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on backorder.

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

(P) IFF inoperative.
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction lock causes throttle levers to stick.
(S) That's what they're there for!!

(P) Number three engine missing.
(S) Engine three found on right wing after brief search.

(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious!!

(P) Target Radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

Powered By JFBConnect