logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Marrying Young

    My sister, went to the department store to check out the bridal registry of our niece…
  • crowd1

    The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime…
  • picture of pretzel

    Pretzel Charity

    A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young…
  • airplane1

    Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

    You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the…
  • Default Image

    Phrases for When you Receive Unwanted Gifts

    Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not…
  • Default Image

    Concert Dreams

    Not that I need reminding, but time flies much too fast. When I was a teenager, I used to…
  • family1

    Dressing The Kids

    The mother of a large family was explaining why she dresses her children alike, right…
  • Default Image

    Locked Out

    First I had to work late. Then I discovered that I'd locked my keys in the car. But the…
  • Default Image

    Evangelist Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed. One…
  • Default Image

    Catfish Fishing

    Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his…
  • Default Image

    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a horse with him to add to…
  • Default Image

    People and Mistakes

    People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes.People who do less work... make fewer…
  • Default Image

    Rope Response

    A young fellow just starting into cattle ranching called the old cowboy one rainy evening…
  • olive oil

    Oily Hair

    Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it.…
  • doorbell

    Quit Bothering Us

    We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town. Early the next…

Here are some actual maintenance complaints generally known as squawks or problems submitted recently by Qantas pilots to maintenance engineers.  After attending to the squawks prior to the aircraft's next flight, the maintenance crews are required to log the details of action taken as a solution to the pilots squawks.  The following are some recent squawks and subsequent responses by maintenance crews.

(P) is the problem logged by the pilot, and (S) marks the solution and action taken by maintenance engineers.

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

(P) #2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) #2 propeller seepage normal - - #1, #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.

(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Something tightened in cockpit.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to more believable level.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on backorder.

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

(P) IFF inoperative.
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction lock causes throttle levers to stick.
(S) That's what they're there for!!

(P) Number three engine missing.
(S) Engine three found on right wing after brief search.

(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious!!

(P) Target Radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

Powered By JFBConnect