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    All You Can Drink

    There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that…
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    How To Know When You Are Ready For Parenthood

    How To Know When You Are Ready For ParenthoodMESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa…
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    Pastoral Visit

    After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited…
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    Favorite Animal

    Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said…
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    Ship Movie

    On many U.S. Navy ships the movie screen is suspended amid-ship so that it can be viewed…
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    4 Year Old Rider

    Mother asks little Johnny, as they wait for the bus, to tell the driver he is 4 years old…
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    Get Your Sister

    A salesman telephoned a household and a young boy answered. "May I speak to your mother?"…
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    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

    You Know You're Really A Mom When . . . 1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake…
  • A joke about two hunters lost in the forest.

    Lost Goober Hunters

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. My uncle Joe and…
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    Morning Run

    The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a…
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    Efficient Breakfast

    The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to…
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    Exact Address

    Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a…
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    Radiator Cap Repair

    I remember an old car I used to own. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I…
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    Valentine's Day

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Things Not To Say To On Date

    Things Not To Say To On Date * I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I…

A woman decided to have her portrait painted.  She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.

"I know," she said.  "It's in case I should die before my husband.  I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery."

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