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    Fine Request

    A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. "Mr. Brewster," the…
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    Four Little Words

    Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch.…
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    New Appointment

    Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.Judge: And why is…
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    Because I Am A Guy

    Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I…
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    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…
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    Holding Hands

    While at the mall, I saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they…
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    Top Tips For Cheapskates

    Top Tips For Cheapskates~ Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books.…
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    Self-Evident Truths about Pets

    * Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many…
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    Sick At Church

    Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden vomit…
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    Fire Test

    Joey and his classmates had just finished a tour of the local fire hall. Before each…
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    Driver's License Examiners

    While discussing the plight of Driver's license examiners, a former motor-vehicle-bureau…
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    Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher

    You are probably an elementary school teacher if:~ You ask guests if they have remembered…
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    Still More Bulletin Bloopers

    Several members who have been in the hospital are not on their way to recovery, for which…
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    English Subtitles

    The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong. * I am darn…
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    Collectable Receipts

    An woman went to traffic violation court for speeding, lost the argument as it always…

A woman decided to have her portrait painted.  She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.

"I know," she said.  "It's in case I should die before my husband.  I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery."

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