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    Top Ten Y2K Survivalists To Do Lis

    10. Apologize to neighbors about the tripwire incident...offer to replace dog. 9. Take up…
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    Colorful Grandma

    I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I…
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    Get Your Own

    One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and…
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    First I Got

    Elmer says, "First, I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia. After that…
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    Company Role Models

    My company had a successful year, and at the annual meeting, employees eagerly awaited…
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    Window Washer

    There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from…
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    Full Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and…
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    Words Per Day

    Abraham was reading an article out loud to his wife. "Did you know that women use about…
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    Three Chairs

    A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to…
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    Cereal Adjustment

    Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now…
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    Goober Catch

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    College Nerves

    While touring the University with some college-bound friends, I saw an advertisement that…
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    Cow Predictions

    A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of…
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    Computer Repair

    An office technician got a call from a computer user. The user told the tech that her…
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    Army Nurse Training

    During basic training for the Army Nurse Corps, we were required to spend one week in the…

A woman decided to have her portrait painted.  She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.

"I know," she said.  "It's in case I should die before my husband.  I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery."

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