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    Haircut

    Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.Susie: It grew on company time.Boss: Not all…
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    Funny Police Quotes

    Funny Police Quotes "The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out…
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    Yard Sale Anger

    A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the…
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    Headstones

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to…
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    Animal Race Stats

    Some racehorses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track…
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    100GB bug

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
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    Missionary Mimicking

    A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the…
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    Fish Fight Story

    Doug was describing a 30-pound bass he'd caught recently, after fighting it for three…
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    Out of Gas Options

    The young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help. Finally two men walked up to…
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    Wakeup Fight

    Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to…
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    King of The Jungle

    The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure…
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    Senior's Ode to Medication

    A row of bottles on my shelfcaused me to analyze myself.One yellow pill I have to popGoes…
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    Genius

    A guy did system support in a law firm. One day, he had to log a user off and then back…
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    Earworms

    Earworms are songs that crawl into your head and stay. 98% of us have had a song stuck in…
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    Firehouse Training Session

    At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen…

A woman decided to have her portrait painted.  She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.

"I know," she said.  "It's in case I should die before my husband.  I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery."

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