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More Jokes

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    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…
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    Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher

    You are probably an elementary school teacher if:~ You ask guests if they have remembered…
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    Swerving Goober

    A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the goober lady…
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    Open Microphone

    While my son was on the Navy carrier USS George Washington, the air wing was busy with…
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    Parts is Parts

    A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the…
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    If You Love Something Variations

    THE ORIGINAL VERSION:If you love something,Set it free...If it comes back, it's yours;If…
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    Lost Baggage

    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage…
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    Suitor Approval

    A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date,…
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    B.O.O.K.

    Introducing the Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge software: B.O.O.K. BOOK is a revolutionary…
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    Hospital Information

    A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I…
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    Green Side Up

    A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her.…
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    You Might Be an Engineer If...

    * You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.* You chuckle…
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    Modern Tool Reality

    Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern…
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    Walking Out

    "I hope you didn't take it personally, Pastor," an embarrassed woman said after a church…
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    Picture Menu

    I stopped at the local Burger King for a cold drink and was reading the menu over the…

A woman decided to have her portrait painted.  She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.

"I know," she said.  "It's in case I should die before my husband.  I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery."

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