More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Cleaning Job

    Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple.…
  • bank


    I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other…
  • Default Image

    Sign Return

    I was on board the USS Kitty Hawk when we docked in the Sri Lankan capital, Colombo.One…
  • Default Image

    Carrier Landings

    Any naval aviator will tell you that landing a plane on an aircraft carrier is THE most…
  • Default Image

    Clergy Golf

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, my brother and three other priests swapped…
  • Default Image

    PICNIC Problem

    Looking over the log book kept by the computer support staff at my office, I noticed…
  • Default Image

    Dads and Babies

    My two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom,"…
  • Default Image

    Zoo Sign

    Although fun to visit, zoos do pose certain perils. But to whom? A sign posted in the…
  • Default Image

    Dieting Buddies

    Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on…
  • Default Image

    Grandma's Meat Loaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…
  • Default Image


    The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless…
  • Default Image

    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
  • newspaper2

    Cub Reporter

    The newspaper editor was instructing the cub reporter in important details of his…
  • Default Image

    Coast Guard Keeping

    My daughter Michelle is the commander of a Coast Guard Cutter. When she gave my husband…
  • Default Image

    Shopping Remote

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As…
"I resent your insinuendoes."

"If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same."

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave."

"We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report."

"Candidly, I cannot answer that. The question is too suppository."

"Let's jump off that bridge when we come to it."

"To be demeanered like that is an exercise in fertility."

"I deny the allegations, and I defy the allegators."

"If somebody's gonna stab me in the back, I want to be there."

"When you're talking to me, keep your mouth shut."

"Let's do this in one foul swoop."

"I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves in this session."

"We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger."

"I would like to take this time to reirritate my remarks."

"The average age of a 7 year old in this state is 13."

"I hate to confuse myself with the facts."

"We have a permanent plan for the time being."

"Family planning has many misconceptions."

"The people in my district do not want this highway bypass, no matter if it goes through or around the city."

"My knowledge is no match for his ignorance."

"As long as I am in the Senate, there will not be a nuclear suppository in our state."

"These numbers are not my own; they are from someone who knows what he's talking about."

"People planning on getting into serious accidents should have their seat belts on."

"In 1994, Americans stand on the horns of an enema."
Powered By JFBConnect