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More Jokes

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    Knee Tattoo

    A hospital corpsman and I were getting an elderly retired master chief petty officer out…
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    Kidnapped

    Most Friday nights at the Naval Station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officers…
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    NRA Thanksgiving

    Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a…
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    Insurance Check and Double Take

    Fire swept the plains and burned down the farmer’s barn. While he surveyed the wreckage,…
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    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary

    Excerpts from A Dog's Diary:Day number 1808:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am…
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    Birth Warp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    Bus Pole

    While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole,…
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    Goober Line Painter

    A goober who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was…
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    Ice Capades

    A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades.…
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    Hypo Teen

    Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was…
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    Takes One To Know One

    Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm…
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    Skipping School

    The local high school has a policy that the parent's must call the school if the student…
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    Caught Sleeping

    Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of…
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    Meet the Parents

    A young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my…
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    Teaching Math

    Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging…

*Political Correctness For Kids*

Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."

Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information."

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.

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