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More Jokes

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    Casual Day

    I used to work for a large company, they often did special things for us to make work a…
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    Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Riding With Grandma

    One evening I was driving my eight-year-old daughter to her grandparents' home for an…
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    Temperance River

    A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had…
  • gas cap

    Lost Gas Cap

    David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven…
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    Corrections

    IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our…
  • Picture of a hunter

    Pygmy Hunter

    A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing…
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    Words Per Day

    Abraham was reading an article out loud to his wife. "Did you know that women use about…
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    Gate Boarding

    At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement…
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    Don't Smoke

    A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a…
  • pinwheel

    Sarahrella

    After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a…
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    I can't come in to work today because . . . .

    - "My son dropped the car keys in the toilet and I sent him in after them. Now I'm…
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    Expecting

    A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following…
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    Yiddish Speak

    During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli…
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    Environ-mental

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…

children3Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."

Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information."

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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