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More Jokes

  • picture of roast meat

    Dinner Guests

    The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age - of long duration) sent out an…
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    Check Your Bill

    A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big…
  • picture of eyeglasses

    Looking Back

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the…
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    Travel Deal

    A travel agent said to his customer, "I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for…
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    Plane Programming

    At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward…
  • flu picture

    Mother's Flu

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her meaning husband.) Monday…
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    Encyclopaedia Set for Sale

    FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica.Excellent Condition.$1200 or…
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    Aunt Emma

    A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the…
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    Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"2.…
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    Goober Y2K Date Change Project Status:

    Y-to-K Date Change Project Status: Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time…
  • school house

    Homework Policy

    Here is an explanation of the school homework policy: Students should not spend more than…
  • picture of mom and child

    If They Had a Doting Mother

    *If They Had a Doting Mother* MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I…
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    Open Microphone

    While my son was on the Navy carrier USS George Washington, the air wing was busy with…
  • plane-passenger-window

    Computerized Airline

    The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without…
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    Banking Hiccup

    While waiting in line at the bank, a coworker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…

children3Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."

Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information."

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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