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More Jokes

  • airport security

    Packing

    I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in…
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    Aunt Emma

    A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the…
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    Open Microphone

    While my son was on the Navy carrier USS George Washington, the air wing was busy with…
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    Bob's MG

    I was driving the other day and came up on a VW Beetle with a license plate reading 'BOBS…
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    Strangest Dream

    "I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist."I saw my…
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    Wild Game

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
  • pig

    Friendly Pig

    A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask…
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    Quotable Quotes

    I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department…
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    Salesman Jig

    My husband and I had bought some gadgets for our almost teen-age grandsons and were…
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    Play Quietly

    Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but…
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    Happy Marriage

    On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy…
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    Job Impressions

    I had always talked about my job a lot at home, and my young daughter had always…
  • cat on roof

    Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions

    My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not…
  • Pictures of a Mother's Day Frame

    Mother Quotes

    PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight…
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    Goober Coffee Maker

    The newlywed Goober went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received…

*Political Correctness For Kids*

Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."

Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information."

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.

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