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More Jokes

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    Parking Space Sign Language

    After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping…
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    Signs You are Broke

    SIGNS YOU ARE BROKE 1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"2. Your…
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    Parachute Charity

    I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of…
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    Beware of Bread

    A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD."…
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    Family Dinner

    Family dinner was an enjoyable weekly ritual for us. Although my Mother was in her late…
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    The Place for Grace

    When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away."Johnny wait until we…
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    The Good Night Kiss

    At the end of their first date, a young man takes the girl back to her home. Emboldened…
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    How to Make Life Simpler

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Extra Fudge

    I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot…
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    Coach Call

    As a high school football coach, I'm aware that student athletes tend to focus too much…
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    Good Guess

    The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the pre-school teacher in…
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    Bridge Over Troubled Waters

    There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.…
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    Three Escape

    Three women escaped from prison....one was a goober. They ran for miles until they came…
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    Vacuum Repair

    My sister has the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home-repair…
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    Never Too Old

    Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one…

children3Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."

Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information."

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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