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More Jokes

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    Dog Employee

    A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a…
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    Where Are We?

    Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they…
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    Some Wacky Definitions

    EGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are. MAGAZINE: bunch of…
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    Cops and Robbers

    Esther Cohen had three very active boys. One summer evening she was playing cops and…
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    Rattlesnakes

    Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into…
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    Parking Lot Stay

    I pulled into the crowded parking lot at a Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down…
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    10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

    10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow1. Text on Web pages displays…
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    Computer Help Desk

    Heard by the computer help desk:A customer couldn't get on the Internet:Helpdesk: "Are…
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    Rules for Laboratory Workers

    Rules for Laboratory Workers 1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly. 2.…
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    Card Name

    A customer called the airline's reservation office to pay for his ticket with a credit…
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    Friendly Pig

    A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask…
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    Eclipse Memos

    Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    Proud Grandmother

    An elderly, wealthy woman in Florida was boring fellow beachcombers as she bragged on and…
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    Paul Top Ten

    TOP TEN THINGS THE APOSTLE PAUL WOULD HAVE DONE IF HE HAD A PC10. Download MP3's of the…
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    Bulletin Humor

    I hope the bulletin in your church is more accurate than the ones that these occurred in.…

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore.  They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore.  He's "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy.  You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot.  You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore.  It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."

AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.  It's "digestively challenged."

No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

These days, a student isn't lazy.  He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class.  You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office.  You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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