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More Jokes

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    What "Guy" Phrases Really Mean

    "I'm going fishing."really means..."I'm going to go and stand by a stream with a stick in…
  • Proofreading is an important job in many different fields.

    The Importance of Proofing

    ~ IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our…
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    A Man's Guide to What A Woman Is Saying

    I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. .... without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? We haven't…
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    Razor Request

    Ronnie goes down to the barber shop. He gets his hair cut and then he is getting a shave.…
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    Judge's Watch

    A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as…
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    Collateral

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
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    Bare Bones Moving

    The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping…
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    Fish Fight Story

    Doug was describing a 30-pound bass he'd caught recently, after fighting it for three…
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    Coffee Choices

    In our home we tend to get the children to help out. One day our youngest son came in to…
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    Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement

    New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.You will never get the urge to use the…
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    Open Mouth, Insert Foot

    At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with…
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    Painted Sunset

    Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying…
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    Air Boss

    Activated from the Army Reserves for a joint service Arctic exercise, I was assigned to…
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    Seen in the Cafeteria

    At work, my dad noticed that the name of an employee was the same as an old friend. He…
  • dog4

    Waiting at the Door

    I was hospitalized for a few days, and my wife reported that my dog really missed me.…

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore.  They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore.  He's "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy.  You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot.  You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore.  It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."

AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.  It's "digestively challenged."

No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

These days, a student isn't lazy.  He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class.  You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office.  You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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