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More Jokes

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    Intercom Repair

    My friend's son worked at a fast-food restaurant when he was in high school. One night…
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    Country Refreshment

    A man was on a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little…
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    Burger Change

    I had just finished visiting a friend in the hospital and stopped by a burger…
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    Foreign Phrases - Sort of

    A New York magazine recently ran a contest. The rules were to take any well-known phrase…
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    First Sermon

    At his first service, the new preachers sermon was extremely long and dull. As he…
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    Mail Problems

    Thanks to Kim Harding for day's real life laugh from her family. Dear Pastor Tim, This is…
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    Pole Power

    I was getting ready for work when I looked out the window and saw the utility company…
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    Hospital Forms

    In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others…
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    Firehouse Training Session

    At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen…
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    Shoe Repair

    Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from…
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    Johnny's Dust

    After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away.…
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    Instrument Test

    I'm a middle school band teacher, and I match students to instruments by testing them on…
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    Thesaurus Collision

    Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New…
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    Lost Hunting

    My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they…
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    Pastor Jim's Bungee Jump

    Pastor Jim was called to pastor a large Southern Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas. He…

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore.  They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore.  He's "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy.  You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot.  You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore.  It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."

AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.  It's "digestively challenged."

No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

These days, a student isn't lazy.  He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class.  You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office.  You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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