logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Politically Correct Statements

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore.  They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore.  He's "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy.  You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot.  You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore.  It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."

AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.  It's "digestively challenged."

No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

These days, a student isn't lazy.  He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class.  You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office.  You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Comedians' Convention

    Someone brought a visitor and the new fellow sat fascinated as the funnymen shouted out…
  • Default Image

    Dial A Prayer Twist

    They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but…
  • Default Image

    Reversal of Fortune

    Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you…
  • Default Image

    Cinderella Question

    The tax accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter…
  • Default Image

    Kangaroo Fence

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high,…
  • Default Image

    Card Name

    Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va.,…
  • Default Image

    Goober Skydiver

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    Manservant

    Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next…
  • Default Image

    50 Years - 5 Minutes

    On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of…
  • Default Image

    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
  • computer keyboard

    A Better Keyboard

    What do we want? A keyboard for fat fingers! When do we want it? BOW!
  • Default Image

    Low Watt Stories

    True Stories, by David Smith I went to McDonald's. I looked at the menu and saw that you…
  • plane war

    Commando Moses

    Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well,…
  • Default Image

    Bricklayer's Insurance Claim

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number…
  • money

    Poor Widow

    A woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at…