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    Because I Am A Guy

    Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I…
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    Hiccups

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Teachers About to Retire

    You know you're a retiree-to-be when... 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall…
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    Brave Firefighters

    A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department from the…
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    Bachelor's Cat

    A bachelor kept a cat for companionship, and loved his cat more than life itself. He was…
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    You're No Longer A Kid When…

    You're No Longer A Kid When...- Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.- You have…
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    Better Trainer

    A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of…
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    Blessed Again

    A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say grace when he opened the…
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    Pit Falls

    This particular man was taking a shortcut through the graveyard one dark night. That was…
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    Most Famous Man

    A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one…
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    How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

    *How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?* Golden Retriever: The sun is…
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    Coin Test

    During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids.…
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    Mess Cake

    The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess…
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    Pop Please

    While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She…
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    Interview Bloopers

    Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were…

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore.  They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore.  He's "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy.  You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot.  You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore.  It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."

AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.  It's "digestively challenged."

No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

These days, a student isn't lazy.  He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class.  You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office.  You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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