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More Jokes

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    Paid To Worry

    Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he…
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    Not Going to Church

    One Sunday morning, a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to…
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    The Truth About Tools

    The Truth about Tools HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays…
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    Look Like Mom

    A two-and-a-half-year-old walked into the bathroom while her mother was putting on…
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    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
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    Wacky Definitions

    Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal…
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    Foot Pill

    A man limped into a hospital to have his foot X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the…
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    Vacuum Persuasion

    My sister has the courage--but not always the skills--to tackle any home-repair…
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    Service for One

    On Sunday, the new young pastor arrived at church and found only an old farmer had shown…
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    Plane Programming

    At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward…
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    School Recommendation

    When I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed…
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    More Church Bulletin Bloopers

    Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial…
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    Perfect Pet

    A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do…
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    Full Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and…
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    Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions

    My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not…

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."

AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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