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    The Lord's Prayer - Sort of

    A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at…
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    Walking Recovery

    An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected…
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    Vow Changes

    Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in…
  • Wedding Day Truths

    From the Beginning

    My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he…
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    Texas Vacation

    A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. "It sounds as if you had a…
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    Thoughts on Genealogy

    ~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my family history so I will…
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    Neighborhood Explosion

    The whole neighborhood shook from the explosion. As shopkeepers ran outside to see what…
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    You Know You Are a Geek When

    You know you are a geek when . . .You look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that…
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    I Always Wondered About That

    During a summer break from my studies at an engineering university, I worked in a scrap…
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    Without Glasses

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the…
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    Spa First Day

    A woman joined a health spa, and on her first day eagerly joined in an exercise class.…
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    In the Bag

    I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on…
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    Steeple Paint

    The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot…
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    Casual Day

    I used to work for a large company, they often did special things for us to make work a…
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    Ironic Phone Call

    A guy showed up at church with both of his ears burned. His chum asked, "what happened to…

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."

AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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