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More Jokes

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    More Too Much Coffee

    You know you've been drinking too much coffee when...You can take a picture of yourself…
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    Leaky Roof

    Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a…
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    Perfect Pet

    A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do…
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    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…
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    Theme Songs For Bible Characters

    Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise" Lazarus:…
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    Quotable Quotes

    I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department…
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    Kiss The Mirror Good-Bye

    According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with an unique problem:A…
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    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…
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    Flight Observation

    On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was…
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    Wheat Exports

    Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question:…
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    Car Privileges

    David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On…
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    Vow of Silence

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
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    Black Canyon Biker

    A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got…
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    Watch This

    A C-130 Hercules cargo plane was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet…
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    Stupid Inventions

    Stupid Inventions: - Black Highlighter - Braille Driver's Manual - Clear Correction Fluid…

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."

AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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