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    Five Things You Do Not Want to Hear when Calling Tech Support

    1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"2. In layman's term, we call that the "Hindenburg Effect."3. "Your…
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    One Question Interview

    A handyman, who was working for a Synagogue, had asked for a raise and was turned down.…
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    Stolen Goat

    The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy, regarding the…
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    If Dr. Seuss Wrote for Star Trek: The Next Generation

    Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship…
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    Doctor's Advice

    A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw…
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    Sermon Follow-Up

    A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To…
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    Surgery Beauty

    Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his…
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    Bear Hunting Preacher

    A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some…
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    After Me

    "I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "Three companies are after me." "Is…
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    Laundry Husband

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he…
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    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
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    Goober Celebration

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Simple Support

    Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while…
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    Tea Service

    One day my mother was out and my dad was looking after me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old…
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    Chemistry Stir

    This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to…

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."

AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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