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    Gym Oops

    New to the United States, I was eager to meet people. So one day I struck up a…
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    Job Interview

    Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer…
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    Translated Golf

    An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening…
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    Lit Match

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    Nice Boyfriend

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    Ten for Sure

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
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    What doctors say, and what they're really thinking: "This should be taken care of right…
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    The Night of Thanksgiving

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    Spiritual Gifts

    During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by…
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    Funeral Weather

    As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day.The deceased was a little old lady who…
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    Prescription Labels

    A pharmacy major was taking a course in Dispensing. One day they were discussing the…
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    Rope Response

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    The Night of Tax Day

    Twas the night of Tax Day, and all thru the house,Every creature was whirring, even the…

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."

AND FOR STUDENTS...

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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