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More Jokes

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    Camping Hints

    When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the…
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    Interesting thoughts

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    Shott Versus Nott

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    Too Late To Date

    An elderly woman died last month.Having never married, she requested no male…
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    Elf Pet Peeves

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    How Does This Work?

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    Translation Please

    A French guest, staying in a American hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black…
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    1 in 5

    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,…
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    Hospital Forms

    In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others…
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    Waterology

    I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is…
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    Larger Than 20

    A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our…
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    Wedding Report

    "How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife."Just fine until I asked the bride if…
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    Boss Prepared

    As salesman was assigned to secure an important client but failed in his mission.He faxed…
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    Cowboy's Guide to Life

    Don't squat with your spurs on. Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you…
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    Yiddish Speak

    During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli…

Prayers as Heard By Children

From San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer as "Our Father, who are in Heaven, Howard be thy name." I always thought that was God's real name.



Groton, Mass: My mother spent her early childhood saying, "Hail Mary, full of grapes."



Missoula, Mont: My son, who is in nursery school, said, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, how didja know my name?"



Uniontown, Ohio: I remember thinking this prayer was "Give us this day our jelly bread."



Covina, Calif: I recall reading something years ago about the Pledge of Allegiance. Some child thought it began, "I led the pigeons to the flag."



Cleveland, Ohio: When I was little, I often wondered who Richard Stands was. You know: "I pledge allegiance to the flag . . . and to the republic for Richard Stands."



Schenectady, N.Y.: I once knew a child whose favorite Sunday school song was "Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear."



Tampa, Fla: When my husband was 6 years old, he thought a certain prayer was "He suffered under a bunch of violets." The real words were "under Pontius Pilate," but at that age, he didn't know better. To this day, we still snicker in church whenever that prayer is read.



Lake Forest Park, Wash: When I was a little girl, we sang a song in Sunday school about Noah. Part of the chorus was "And the rains came down, and the floods came up." We lived next door to a couple of charming little girls who always sang this song while playing in their garden. Their words were, "And the rains came down, and the spuds came up."



Grand Junction, Colo: When I was younger, I believed the line was "Lead a snot into temptation." I thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble.



Oak Harbor, Wash: When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my mother when she took communion. On one occasion, he tugged at her arm and asked, "What does the priest say when he gives you the bread?" Mom whispered something in his ear. Imagine his shock many years later when he learned that the priest doesn't say, "Be quiet until you get to your seat."

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