logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Prayers as Heard By Children

Prayers as Heard By Children

From San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer as "Our Father, who are in Heaven, Howard be thy name." I always thought that was God's real name.



Groton, Mass: My mother spent her early childhood saying, "Hail Mary, full of grapes."



Missoula, Mont: My son, who is in nursery school, said, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, how didja know my name?"



Uniontown, Ohio: I remember thinking this prayer was "Give us this day our jelly bread."



Covina, Calif: I recall reading something years ago about the Pledge of Allegiance. Some child thought it began, "I led the pigeons to the flag."



Cleveland, Ohio: When I was little, I often wondered who Richard Stands was. You know: "I pledge allegiance to the flag . . . and to the republic for Richard Stands."



Schenectady, N.Y.: I once knew a child whose favorite Sunday school song was "Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear."



Tampa, Fla: When my husband was 6 years old, he thought a certain prayer was "He suffered under a bunch of violets." The real words were "under Pontius Pilate," but at that age, he didn't know better. To this day, we still snicker in church whenever that prayer is read.



Lake Forest Park, Wash: When I was a little girl, we sang a song in Sunday school about Noah. Part of the chorus was "And the rains came down, and the floods came up." We lived next door to a couple of charming little girls who always sang this song while playing in their garden. Their words were, "And the rains came down, and the spuds came up."



Grand Junction, Colo: When I was younger, I believed the line was "Lead a snot into temptation." I thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble.



Oak Harbor, Wash: When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my mother when she took communion. On one occasion, he tugged at her arm and asked, "What does the priest say when he gives you the bread?" Mom whispered something in his ear. Imagine his shock many years later when he learned that the priest doesn't say, "Be quiet until you get to your seat."

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Mom's Bath Note

    Dear Kids, Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath.…
  • Default Image

    Movie Seats

    After I had purchased movie tickets for myself and my girlfriend, she went inside to find…
  • Default Image

    Plus or Minus One

    In a contest in The Washington Post, readers were asked to take an expression using a…
  • man4

    Dad Sayings

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
  • Default Image

    Goober Love Poem

    Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.…
  • Default Image

    Grandmother on the Stand

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a…
  • Default Image

    Singing Practice

    Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she…
  • Default Image

    Unwritten Warning Labels

    *Unwritten Warning Labels*On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive…
  • Default Image

    You're Not a Kid Anymore When

    You're not a kid anymore when ...* The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is…
  • garage sale

    Yard Sale Anger

    A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said…
  • engineer

    Engineering Dictionary

    What the Engineer Says (and what it means) A number of different approaches are being…
  • Default Image

    Heartfelt

    Jimmy was at his first day of school. The teacher advised the class to start the day with…
  • plane passenger window

    On Time

    The passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger…
  • Default Image

    Bridge Trouble

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway when a sign comes up that reads "Low…
  • computer keyboard

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer: - You've backed-up your desktop by…