logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Prayers as Heard By Children

Prayers as Heard By Children

From San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer as "Our Father, who are in Heaven, Howard be thy name." I always thought that was God's real name.



Groton, Mass: My mother spent her early childhood saying, "Hail Mary, full of grapes."



Missoula, Mont: My son, who is in nursery school, said, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, how didja know my name?"



Uniontown, Ohio: I remember thinking this prayer was "Give us this day our jelly bread."



Covina, Calif: I recall reading something years ago about the Pledge of Allegiance. Some child thought it began, "I led the pigeons to the flag."



Cleveland, Ohio: When I was little, I often wondered who Richard Stands was. You know: "I pledge allegiance to the flag . . . and to the republic for Richard Stands."



Schenectady, N.Y.: I once knew a child whose favorite Sunday school song was "Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear."



Tampa, Fla: When my husband was 6 years old, he thought a certain prayer was "He suffered under a bunch of violets." The real words were "under Pontius Pilate," but at that age, he didn't know better. To this day, we still snicker in church whenever that prayer is read.



Lake Forest Park, Wash: When I was a little girl, we sang a song in Sunday school about Noah. Part of the chorus was "And the rains came down, and the floods came up." We lived next door to a couple of charming little girls who always sang this song while playing in their garden. Their words were, "And the rains came down, and the spuds came up."



Grand Junction, Colo: When I was younger, I believed the line was "Lead a snot into temptation." I thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble.



Oak Harbor, Wash: When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my mother when she took communion. On one occasion, he tugged at her arm and asked, "What does the priest say when he gives you the bread?" Mom whispered something in his ear. Imagine his shock many years later when he learned that the priest doesn't say, "Be quiet until you get to your seat."

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Golf Meditations

    If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.…
  • Default Image

    Rewiring

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
  • Default Image

    Curbing Church Growth

    25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth1. Begin your message with the…
  • Default Image

    Chet's Graduation

    It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Chet. At the…
  • Default Image

    Goober Vacuum

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    Quickest Way to York

    A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to…
  • bride and groom

    Number Married

    I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't…
  • Default Image

    Perfect Pet

    A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do…
  • owl

    What a Hoot

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
  • face surprised

    Family Feud Answers

    *Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family…
  • phone-old-school

    It Sure Is

    An elderly couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. The husband…
  • Default Image

    Hand Dryers

    My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and…
  • Default Image

    Pulpit Humor

    There was this Lutheran minister who served a predominately German congregation for…
  • Default Image

    Oriskany Falls

    The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so…
  • Default Image

    Hypo Teen

    Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was…