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    Redecorating Help

    A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of…
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    Ash Request

    A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me…
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    Cute Baby

    When we brought our new-born son to the pediatrician for his first checkup, the doctor…
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    Bathroom Break

    On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone…
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    Beauty Watch

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.…
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    Clerk Problem

    In a department store, Sandra and a patient clerk were having a hard time getting…
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    Goober Counsellor

    A goober began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One…
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    Shirt Note

    The trendy dresser fancied himself quite a lady-killer, and was delighted to find a note…
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    Dog Stop

    Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a…
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    Looking For The Lift

    As a concierge at a posh resort, I was often asked about the ski facilities. One day a…
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    Football Signals

    A three-year-old in the congregation regularly watched football games with his father. So…
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    First Apartment

    Having moved into his first apartment, our son invited my husband and me for a visit. As…
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    Taps System

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    And Then They Voted

    While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was…

11.  Subject: Children's Logic:  Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently.  "It means carrying a child."

12.  A grandmother was surprised by her 7-year-old grandson one morning.  He had made her coffee.  She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.  When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup.  She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV - "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"

13. Susie Sunshine asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories.  She was puzzled by Jimmie's picture which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt." said Jimmy. "I see, and that must be Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus," Ms Susie said. But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot."

14. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.  Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the dog's duties.  "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

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