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  • money

    Money

    Money can buy a house, but not a home.Money can buy a bed, but not sleep.Money can buy a…
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    If They Had a Doting Mother

    *If They Had a Doting Mother* MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I…
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    Swallowed a Coin

    The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and his mother ran out in…
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    Wedding Album

    At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember…
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    More Bad Headlines

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    Parts Search

    I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his…
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    Red, White and Blue

    A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American."Our…
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    The Pledge

    Grandpa Cartnell was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how…
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    Radiator Cap Repair

    I remember an old car I used to own. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I…
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    Who Am I?

    Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's…
  • law offices

    Lawyer Questions

    The following questions from lawyers (and answers from witnesses) were taken from…
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    Patriotic Father

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…
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    Goober Diagnosis

    A Goober felt sick and decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examining him said, 'Well,…
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    Exam Help

    The final exam in electrical engineering worried my son, Don. On the last day of class,…

11.  Subject: Children's Logic:  Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently.  "It means carrying a child."

12.  A grandmother was surprised by her 7-year-old grandson one morning.  He had made her coffee.  She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.  When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup.  She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV - "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"

13. Susie Sunshine asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories.  She was puzzled by Jimmie's picture which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt." said Jimmy. "I see, and that must be Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus," Ms Susie said. But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot."

14. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.  Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the dog's duties.  "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

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