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    Basic Training

    After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to…
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    What Don't You Have?

    An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit. "Doc," he says," I am so stricken. I have…
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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
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    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…
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    Dial A Prayer Twist

    They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but…
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    Denture Feedback

    A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set…
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    Baby Prescription

    A woman brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had…
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    Family Problems

    Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
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    I Just Can't Drive Today

    For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled…
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    In the Bag

    I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on…
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    Novice Immerser

    The young son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first…
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    Political Faith

    Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate…
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    Jury Age

    Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice.…
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    Awareness Test

    Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented.…

11.  Subject: Children's Logic:  Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently.  "It means carrying a child."

12.  A grandmother was surprised by her 7-year-old grandson one morning.  He had made her coffee.  She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.  When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup.  She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV - "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"

13. Susie Sunshine asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories.  She was puzzled by Jimmie's picture which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt." said Jimmy. "I see, and that must be Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus," Ms Susie said. But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot."

14. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.  Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the dog's duties.  "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

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