logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    2503 Years Old

    A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in Latin America,…
  • Default Image

    Walk-in Scream

    A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about…
  • movie seats

    Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

    - It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. - A…
  • Default Image

    Y zero K

    Message from: RomeJanuary 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K…
  • a picture of a high-heel-shoe

    Shoe Cover-Up

    One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work. Although this…
  • Default Image

    Drum Problem

    There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He…
  • Default Image

    Price Reduction

    Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per…
  • Default Image

    Freshman's Blind Date

    "How was your blind date?" a freshman college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the…
  • Default Image

    Day of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
  • Default Image

    Intelligence

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    Bob Hope Quotes

    Some memorable quotes from Bob Hope:ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only…
  • Default Image

    Test Crash

    As the test pilot climbed out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and…
  • phone help

    Simple Support

    Last week my wife and I purchased a new computer. We ran into some difficulties while…
  • school

    Meeting With Teacher

    Miss Smith and Little Johnny's father were having a parent teacher conference. Miss Smith…
  • Default Image

    Breakfast Call

    When my son was in the ninth grade, we reluctantly agreed to let him move into the…

Dear Secretary of Agriculture,

My friends, Darryl and Janice, over at Jonestown, Oklahoma, received a check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs.  So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business myself next year.

What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best type of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise?  I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all government policies.  I would prefer not to raise Razor hogs, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I can just as easily not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.

As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.  If I can get $1,000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000 for not raising 100 hogs?  I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 "not raised" hogs, which will give me $80,000 income the first year.  Then I can buy an airplane.

Now another thing: these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn.  I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat.  Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the
4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?  I want to get started not feeding as soon as possible, as this seems to be a good time of the year to not raise hogs and grain.

I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send me any information on that also.  In view of these circumstances, I understand that the government will consider me totally unemployed, so I plan to file for unemployment and food stamps as well.

Be assured that you will have my vote in the coming elections.

Patriotically yours, Duster Benton

Powered By JFBConnect