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More Jokes

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    How does a home schooler change a light bulb?

    Q: How does a home schooler change a light bulb? A: First, mom checks three books on…
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    Cutting Class

    "Jill," a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, "do you mind telling me whose…
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    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…
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    Dining Problem

    Everyone had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week's…
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    Popping Ears

    Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight.…
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    Go Get Grandma

    When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging…
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    Skipping School

    The local high school has a policy that the parent's must call the school if the student…
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    Parts Search

    I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his…
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    Goober Line Painter

    A goober who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was…
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    Do It Yourself

    When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a…
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    Fair Tax

    At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the…
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    Cow Horns

    "Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city on…
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    Passing Notes

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a…
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    Murphy's Laws on Computers

    *Murphy's Laws on Computers*- As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.-…
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    Translated Golf

    An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening…

Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the Ice Cream Parlor, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl, who isn't there, if he can buy her an ice cream cone.

The owner, who is used to the weird, local university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool, man. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?"

The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there."

The owner raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn't you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a cone? Never know... she might say yes."

The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right. How likely is THAT to happen?"

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