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  • new years_eve

    Attainable New Year's Resolutions

    This year, I resolve to... - Gain weight; at least 30 pounds. - Stop exercising; waste of…
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    TV News

    A chicken crosses the road. Here's how some of the media covers it.Here's our trusty NBC…
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    Backwoods Labor

    In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the…
  • picture of a wedding dress

    The Wedding Dress

    Betty was soon to be married. More than anything, she wanted to wear the wedding dress…
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    Apples for Teachers

    There are about 50 million American children enrolled in elementary school and high…
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    Flight Delay Announcement

    A passenger on a Southwest flight says that he once faced a flight delay just before they…
  • bagel

    Bagel Storm

    It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets…
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    Training Courses Now Available for Men

    1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop 2. Introduction to Common…
  • jeans

    The Gift That Keeps On Giving

    This is a really long item, but well worth the read! The one present Roy Collette wasn't…
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    Words to Ponder

    *Words to Ponder* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. I'd kill…
  • catmelonhead150x127

    Cat T-Shirts

    If cats wore t-shirts, here is what they might say. "Purrfection cannot be improved" "If…
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    Little Bars of Soap

    Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff…
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    Martha Raye, Stewardess

    I once went for a job at an airline. The interviewer asked me why I wanted to be a…
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    Homework Excuses

    Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.- I didn't do my history…
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    Missionary Mimicking

    A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the…

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.

"Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."

"You're wrong," the young man declared.

"For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."

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