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More Jokes

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    Gifts for Men

    Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules…
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    Goober in Snow Storm

    A goober got lost in her car in a New England snow storm. She remembered what her dad had…
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    Rope Response

    A young fellow just starting into cattle ranching called the old cowboy one rainy evening…
  • Hiccup Joke

    Hiccups Cure

    A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist. When the pharmacist came out,…
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    Medical Term Needed

    The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he…
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    Tennis Take On

    A manager has to take on some sport by his doctor so he decides to play tennis. After a…
  • sports balls

    *Famous Sports Quotes*

    "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman…
  • do not_disturb

    Do Not Disturb

    After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a…
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    First Things First

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the…
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    Dead Politicians

    A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught…
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    Failing Eyesight

    An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on her later in the day. She was…
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    The Gas Men

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
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    Bystander

    Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a…
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    Sharing by Example

    A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to…
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    At Home

    While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started…

If your life takes a turn for the worse, remember that you are the one who is driving!

My dog was my only friend. I told my wife that every man needs at least two friends, so she bought me another dog.
--Henny Youngman

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss things;
Little minds discuss people.

When the guy who made the first drawing board got it wrong, what did he go back to?
--Steven Wright

A gentleman never insults someone unintentionally.
--Oscar Wilde

Noah was an amateur; the Titanic was built by professionals.
--Malcolm Allison

I live by my principles, and one of my principles is flexibility.
--Br. Everett Dirksen

Only dead fish "go with the flow."

It is not enough to have every intelligent person in the country voting for me. I need a majority.
--Adlai Stevenson

No woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
--George Coote

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
--Douglas Adams

A politician will always be there when he needs you.
--Ian Walsh

There is the greatest practical benefit in making a few failures early in life.
--Thomas Huxley

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
--Ambrose Bierce

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