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    Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You

    Your favorite section of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today."The parts that have…
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    One Call

    The two teenagers were arrested. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a…
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    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection is A Little Slow

    Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection is A Little Slow1. Text on Web pages displays…
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    Allergy Medicine

    During a revival, the visiting evangelist arrived without his allergy medicine. Our…
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    Sharon's Shampoo

    Hi, pastor Tim! This is a story of something I did to myself not too long ago. I live in…
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    Kids' Letters to the President

    Dear Mr. President: How much money does the president make? Could you please write and…
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    Suitor Approval

    A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date,…
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    Passing Notes

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a…
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    It Pays to Read Labels

    I finally figured out why I am so "full-figured"!As I was conditioning my hair in the…
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    Buying Shoes

    A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes."How do they feel?" asked…
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    Inferior Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Police Report

    A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were: Q -…
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    Resume Blunders

    How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:"My…
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    Training Courses Now Available for Men

    1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop 2. Introduction to Common…
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    Amish Law

    An Amish man answered a knock on his door one morning. An electric company worker handed…

If your life takes a turn for the worse, remember that you are the one who is driving!

My dog was my only friend. I told my wife that every man needs at least two friends, so she bought me another dog.
--Henny Youngman

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss things;
Little minds discuss people.

When the guy who made the first drawing board got it wrong, what did he go back to?
--Steven Wright

A gentleman never insults someone unintentionally.
--Oscar Wilde

Noah was an amateur; the Titanic was built by professionals.
--Malcolm Allison

I live by my principles, and one of my principles is flexibility.
--Br. Everett Dirksen

Only dead fish "go with the flow."

It is not enough to have every intelligent person in the country voting for me. I need a majority.
--Adlai Stevenson

No woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
--George Coote

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
--Douglas Adams

A politician will always be there when he needs you.
--Ian Walsh

There is the greatest practical benefit in making a few failures early in life.
--Thomas Huxley

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
--Ambrose Bierce

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