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More Jokes

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    Listen For The Word

    Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with my wife and me. He got restless,…
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    Fax Hint

    As a professor at the Air Force Institute of Technology, I taught a series of popular…
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    What Does That Mean?

    Little Levi attended church for the first time with his buddy, Jimmy. As the pastor got…
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    Parrot Problems

    A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a…
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    Bachelor Cooking

    Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.…
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    Visiting Friends

    Hush-A-Bye Buddy(Modified from Rock-A-Bye Baby)Hush-A-Bye BuddyIn our guest roomIt's been…
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    To The Rescue

    One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant.…
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    Order Debt

    A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great…
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    Anti Stress Diet

    This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that…
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    Hearing Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed.One…
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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    Fan Help

    Although I have three sons, it was always my daughter who helped me with chores around…
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    Get Your Sister

    A salesman telephoned a household and a young boy answered. "May I speak to your mother?"…
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    Medical Bill Call

    Many patients call the pathology group where I am office manager to discuss their medical…
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    Artist's Sketch

    Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got…

If your life takes a turn for the worse, remember that you are the one who is driving!

My dog was my only friend. I told my wife that every man needs at least two friends, so she bought me another dog.
--Henny Youngman

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss things;
Little minds discuss people.

When the guy who made the first drawing board got it wrong, what did he go back to?
--Steven Wright

A gentleman never insults someone unintentionally.
--Oscar Wilde

Noah was an amateur; the Titanic was built by professionals.
--Malcolm Allison

I live by my principles, and one of my principles is flexibility.
--Br. Everett Dirksen

Only dead fish "go with the flow."

It is not enough to have every intelligent person in the country voting for me. I need a majority.
--Adlai Stevenson

No woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
--George Coote

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
--Douglas Adams

A politician will always be there when he needs you.
--Ian Walsh

There is the greatest practical benefit in making a few failures early in life.
--Thomas Huxley

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
--Ambrose Bierce

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