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    Third Grade Assignment

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    The Upper Hand

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    Boss Prepared

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    Stork Reunion

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    IRS Call

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    Instructions for Microsoft's New TV Dinner

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    Horse Batter

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    New Recruit

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    Second Grade Math

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    Play Quietly

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    Goober Eye Pain

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    John Will Be Fine

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    Reasons Not To Wash

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    Air Boss

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    Vacation Offer

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Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As Felix headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, "Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out."

The chief explained that calls had been coming in all week requesting assistance with removing the snakes.

"You've got to be kidding," Felix replied in astonishment. "People actually call the fire department to help them with rattlesnakes? What do you say to them?"

"Well," said the chief, "the first thing I ask is, 'Is it on fire?'"

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