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    Car 34

    A young man is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner…
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    The Chief's Wife

    "NEXT," the conference emcee announced, "we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol,…
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    Driving Worries

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Men, Dogs, Women

    1. How Dogs and Men Are the Same Both take up too much space on the bed.Both have…
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    Getting Fat

    When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room…
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    The Points System

    For all of us guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of…
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    Newcomer Court

    "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be…
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    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    You've Got Bottle

    A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of…
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    Trio of Puns

    Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous…
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    Morning March

    I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding…
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    Teacher Tech Help

    The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me…
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    Flight Booking

    After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the…
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    Minibike

    A young man drove his mini-bike in to a gas station and dismounted."I'll need about a…
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    Skipping School

    The local high school has a policy that the parent's must call the school if the student…

These are real ads from a newspaper.

1.  1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850 or best offer

2.  AMANA WASHER $100.  OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

3.  SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

4.  FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART DOG.

5.  2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

6.  TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, AUTO TRANS., EXCELLENT CONDITION - $6800

7.  DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR VALENTINE - HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK PUMPED

8.  FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR DOG

9.  FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.  8 YEARS OLD.  UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG

10. GERMAN SHEPHERD.  85 lbs.  NEUTERED.  SPEAKS GERMAN.  FREE.

11. FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.

12. NORDIC TRAC $300 - HARDLY USED - CALL CHUBBIE at:

13. BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING - "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

14. FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG...LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT AWHILE.....BETTER BE A REWARD

15. HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT"

16. CUTE KITTEN FOR SALE, 2 CENTS OR BEST OFFER

17. WHIRLPOOL BUILT IN OVEN -- FROST FREE!

18. '93 PONTIAC LEMONS - LOW MILES

19. KITTENS 8 WEEKS OLD - SEEKING GOOD CHRISTIAN HOME.

20. TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?  WE OFFER PROFIT.  SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.  STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.

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