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    Married Witness

    An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered at him,…
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    Awake Tip

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    The Wedding Dress

    Betty was soon to be married. More than anything, she wanted to wear the wedding dress…
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    Anesthesia

    An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school…
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    Connecting Chaos

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    The Mayor's Burden

    One of the burdens of office of the small town mayor was his brother in-law, a fellow who…
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    Waiting for Dark

    Preparing for a family vacation, Kathy and Matt explained to their young children that…
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    Late For Work

    For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a…
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    Airport Mistletoe

    It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to…
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    Four Waiting Fathers

    Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were…
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    Homework Excuses

    Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.- I didn't do my history…
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    Indiana Rainstorm

    After a hardy Indiana rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a…
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    Great Eyesight

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see…
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    E-Mail Blessing

    E-Mail BlessingPeace be unto you, your computer and the e-mail you receive this day.May…
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    Clunker Leak

    As the owner of a clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One…

If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to other important areas of life you'd realize how inconsistent we can be in our logic.  For example:

Reasons Not To Wash

1.  I was forced to as a child.

2.  People who make soap are only after your money.

3.  I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.

4.  People who wash are hypocrites-they think they are cleaner than everyone else.

5.  There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which one is best.

6.  I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.

7.  None of my friends wash.

8.  The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.

9.  I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier.

10.  I can't spare the time

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