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More Jokes

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    How's My Driving?

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
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    Newlywed Breakfast

    "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy the newlywed bride,…
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    Haircut Request

    When a customer slid into the barber chair, the barber asked him how he wanted his hair…
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    Calling In Sick

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Positively Wrong

    A linguistics professor was lecturing his class."In English," he explained, "a double…
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    Reading At Lunchtime

    A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench…
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    Grandma and God

    My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are…
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    Better By Train

    A large two-engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance, one of…
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    Hickbonics

    The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless…
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    Keyboard Jockey Exercise

    For those keyboard jockeys (those with jobs that require sitting at a computer all day)…
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    Surprise Gift

    The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of…
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    Electrical Officer

    My daughter is an electrical officer on a carrier. Recently I asked her what her duties…
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    Dressing Down

    When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and…
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    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…

If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to other important areas of life you'd realize how inconsistent we can be in our logic.  For example:

Reasons Not To Wash

1.  I was forced to as a child.

2.  People who make soap are only after your money.

3.  I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.

4.  People who wash are hypocrites-they think they are cleaner than everyone else.

5.  There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which one is best.

6.  I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.

7.  None of my friends wash.

8.  The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.

9.  I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier.

10.  I can't spare the time

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