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Reasons Why Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

* They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of gas.

* Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.

* It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.

* It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.

* The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean.

* They're too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc.

* The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you're being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren't cracked and covered with duct tape.

* Top speed is only about 45 mph.

* Who wants a truck that needs a year's worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in bodywork, taillights and a windshield.

* It's hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.

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