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More Jokes

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    Kitchen Help

    The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and…
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    Morning Run

    The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a…
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    Happy Birthday Line

    Because of a minor infraction, a shipmate of mine aboard the USS Reeves, bound for Japan,…
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    The Buck Stops Where?

    A one-dollar bill met a twenty-dollar bill and said, "Hey, where have you been? I haven't…
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    Last Name Lineup

    On my first day in basic training, we were lined up in a row, each of us in turn having…
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    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    How Old Am I?

    A college professor asked his class a question."If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New…
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    After Me

    "I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "Three companies are after me." "Is…
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    Chickens in the Sack

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. There were two…
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    Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"2.…
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    Brick Order

    A man goes into his local building supply store and orders 10,000 bricks."May I ask what…
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    Second Opinion 2

    A man has not been feeling well and goes to the doctor for a check up. After the physical…
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    Funny Quotes

    Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.- Red Buttons Did…
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    Curfew

    This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m.…
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    Keep Your Seat

    A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his…

When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work.

I promptly added: "Send Michelle money every month."

A few days later my brother wrote: "Make payments on car for Jason."

Then my boyfriend joined in with: "Buy Tom a Jeep."

Finally my father added a new goal to his amended list: "Wean kids."

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