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    Vacation Report

    Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She…
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    Excerpts from Pet Diaries

    From the Dog.Day number 1808:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am - OH BOY! A…
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    Actual Call Center Conversations

    Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries.…
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    Cleaning Instructions

    I bought a great new toilet seat recently.On the label was a suggestion on how to clean…
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    Signs of E-Mail Addiction

    1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way…
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    Knowing the Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers."Yes," he said. "I do.…
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    Shaking Hands

    "Doctor, you've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands from shaking!" "Do you drink…
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    Cow Puzzler

    This is a cool puzzler. See if you can follow it - out loud is even better!1. Say COW…
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    Exercise

    - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.- I…
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    Goober Circle

    A goober had just bought a new sports car and was out for a drive when she swerved…
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    Friendship Poems

    Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never…
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    Rare Bible

    A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away…
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    Astute Visionaries?

    "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."--Popular Mechanics,…
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    Other Uses for Fruitcake

    1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your…
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    Three Important Words

    At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married…

When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work.

I promptly added: "Send Michelle money every month."

A few days later my brother wrote: "Make payments on car for Jason."

Then my boyfriend joined in with: "Buy Tom a Jeep."

Finally my father added a new goal to his amended list: "Wean kids."

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