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    Banking Woes

    The girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial…
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    Cow Predictions

    A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of…
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    Why Are You Here?

    A man dressed as napoleon went to see a psychiatrist at the urging of his wife. "What's…
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    Zoo Sign

    Although fun to visit, zoos do pose certain perils. But to whom? A sign posted in the…
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    Where's Mommy

    One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he…
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    CD Sleeves

    My daughter Lili was five when she received a foam CD holder with plastic sleeves for all…
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    Smile For the DMV

    When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was…
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    Message Puzzle

    April was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept getting on her voice mail. Day…
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    Computer Dating

    A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and registered his qualifications.…
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    One Per Point

    One day a professor was giving a big test to his students. He handed out all of the tests…
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    Suck It In

    I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.…
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    Curve Hand

    A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a…
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    Fax Hint

    As a professor at the Air Force Institute of Technology, I taught a series of popular…
  • motel sign

    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
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    Dumb Sports Quotes

    Dumb Sports Quotes *"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a…

I was meeting a friend in a restaurant and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls looking at me.

"Nine," I heard one whisper as I passed.

Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.

"I don't want to ruin it for you," he said, "but when I walked in, they were speaking German."

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