logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
  • Default Image

    Go Easy at First

    Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight…
  • Default Image

    The Upper Hand

    A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation…
  • Default Image

    Employee Gift

    A new pastor, eager to make sure the church's employees would like him, called them…
  • Default Image

    Quick Thinking Dog

    A wealthy man decides to take a hunting safari in Africa, and takes his faithful dog with…
  • Default Image

    Car Sale

    Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the…
  • Default Image

    Disappearing Dinosaurs

    Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable…
  • Default Image

    Sleeping Leg

    A lady had been exposed to strep and needed to visit the doctor's office just to have her…
  • Default Image

    Second Try

    Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one…
  • Default Image

    Kitchen Wizard

    My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she…
  • Default Image

    Nabbed

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
  • Default Image

    Summer Plans

    Summer vacation was almost about to start and the teacher asked little Sammy about a…
  • Default Image

    Managing a Flag Pole

    A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So…
  • Default Image

    Laws of Parenthood

    There is the Law of Gravity - And then, there is the Law of ParenthoodA child's behavior…
  • Default Image

    Dead Horse

    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says…

FROM: Human Resources Department

SUBJECT: Restroom Use Policy

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees.

Under the policy a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given twenty Restroom Trip Credits. These credits may be accumulated.

Within four to six weeks, the entrance doors to all restrooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer- linked voice print recognition devices. Before the end of the month each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to the Human Resources Department. The voice print recognition station will be operational but not restrictive during the entire month. Employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during that period.

If the employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restrooms will not unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the next month. In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty-seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will open. If the stall remains occupied, your picture will be taken.

The picture will then be posted on the bulletin board located in the Employee Relations Office. Anyone's picture showing up three times will immediately be terminated. If you have any questions about this policy, please ask your supervisor. They have all received advanced instructions.

Powered By JFBConnect