logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Restroom Use Policy

FROM: Human Resources Department

SUBJECT: Restroom Use Policy

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees.

Under the policy a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given twenty Restroom Trip Credits. These credits may be accumulated.

Within four to six weeks, the entrance doors to all restrooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer- linked voice print recognition devices. Before the end of the month each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to the Human Resources Department. The voice print recognition station will be operational but not restrictive during the entire month. Employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during that period.

If the employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restrooms will not unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the next month. In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty-seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will open. If the stall remains occupied, your picture will be taken.

The picture will then be posted on the bulletin board located in the Employee Relations Office. Anyone's picture showing up three times will immediately be terminated. If you have any questions about this policy, please ask your supervisor. They have all received advanced instructions.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Paul Top Ten

    TOP TEN THINGS THE APOSTLE PAUL WOULD HAVE DONE IF HE HAD A PC10. Download MP3's of the…
  • Default Image

    Cake Disaster

    Many years ago my just married young cousin moved into an upstairs apartment and invited…
  • Default Image

    Helping Sam at Church

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
  • man office

    10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

    1. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code. 2. Graphics arrive via FedEx. 3. You believe…
  • Hudson river_plane

    NTSB Report on Flight 1549

    Preliminary Accident Report FT 1549. Captain held responsible for unauthorized actions…
  • fishing1

    Fishing Trip

    "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip…
  • Default Image

    Overdrawn

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
  • Default Image

    Mowing the Lawn

    I was trying to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn…
  • Default Image

    Goober Travelers

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: * I had someone ask for an…
  • Default Image

    Apology Letter

    Lisa, my co-worker at the travel agency, needed to send a letter of apology to a customer…
  • Default Image

    A Man's Guide to What A Woman Is Saying

    I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. .... without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? We haven't…
  • man outraged

    Bad Sign

    A little boy just couldn't learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the…
  • map forest

    Wilderness Guide

    "We pass this way but once," we have heard it said. But my wife has learned that, unless…
  • Default Image

    Memento

    Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Woman:…
  • Default Image

    Golf Friendless

    "Bob, why don't you play golf with John anymore?" asked a friend."Would you play golf…