logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Environ-mental

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
  • Default Image

    Cake Make Up

    On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crewmembers take turns in the galley helping the…
  • Default Image

    Watch Your Hat and Overcoat

    The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat and Overcoat."Meyer…
  • Default Image

    Australian Vacation

    On a vacation to Australia, a Texas farmer meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking to…
  • Default Image

    Eye Exam

    Eye-examination charts vary according to the manufacturer, but one thing they have in…
  • Default Image

    House Points

    "This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad…
  • Default Image

    Men's Thesaurus

    "IT'S A GUY THING"Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,…
  • Default Image

    Stolen Wallet

    It was John's turn to drive carpool into town on a day when a new member was travelling…
  • Default Image

    Scavenger Hunt

    A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. "Ma'am," he…
  • Default Image

    Vet's Guarantee

    There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working…
  • Default Image

    Earworms

    Earworms are songs that crawl into your head and stay. 98% of us have had a song stuck in…
  • Default Image

    Fly Catch

    My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Los Angeles Dodgers…
  • Default Image

    Longevity

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
  • Default Image

    Eat This Up

    Several American nurses were training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. These nurses…
  • Default Image

    Bare Bones Moving

    The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping…

FROM: Human Resources Department

SUBJECT: Restroom Use Policy

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees.

Under the policy a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given twenty Restroom Trip Credits. These credits may be accumulated.

Within four to six weeks, the entrance doors to all restrooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer- linked voice print recognition devices. Before the end of the month each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to the Human Resources Department. The voice print recognition station will be operational but not restrictive during the entire month. Employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during that period.

If the employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restrooms will not unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the next month. In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty-seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will open. If the stall remains occupied, your picture will be taken.

The picture will then be posted on the bulletin board located in the Employee Relations Office. Anyone's picture showing up three times will immediately be terminated. If you have any questions about this policy, please ask your supervisor. They have all received advanced instructions.

Powered By JFBConnect