logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Narrow Escape Responses

    There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The…
  • A funny joke about 2 men in their fancy cars.

    Bragging Rights

    A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a…
  • Default Image

    Service

    A woman walked up to the manager of a department store."Are you hiring any help?" she…
  • Default Image

    Useful Work Phrases

    1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 2. I like…
  • Default Image

    You're No Longer A Kid When…

    You're No Longer A Kid When...- Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.- You have…
  • Last Minute Turkey

    Last Minute Turkey

    It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on…
  • Default Image

    Cheap Suit

    The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the…
  • Default Image

    Bank Name

    Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her…
  • Default Image

    Calling In Sick

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
  • Default Image

    Check The Mirror

    Harry was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after…
  • Default Image

    Car Warning

    A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drove his…
  • Default Image

    Bicycle Accidents

    In the early 1990's, when I was stationed at Caserma Carlo Ederle in Italy, it was very…
  • Default Image

    Preacher's Donkey

    A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had…
  • Default Image

    Skipping School

    The local high school has a policy that the parent's must call the school if the student…
  • Default Image

    Wrapping Help

    My wife asked me to help wrap Christmas presents this year, but I was watching football…

man stressedHow bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:

"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

"Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

"I am a rabid typist."

"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."

"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."

"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

"Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."

"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."

"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."

"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

"Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously - they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant."

"I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail."

"Qualifications: No education or experience."

"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

"Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"

Powered By JFBConnect