logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Brazilian Jungle

    Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the Brazilian jungle. "I'm here," declared…
  • Default Image

    White Gloves

    Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined…
  • Default Image

    Speeding Excuses

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
  • Default Image

    Tired and Thirsty

    Three students are leaving their last classes of the day.The law student is thinking,…
  • Default Image

    Newlywed Repairs

    A man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel…
  • Default Image

    Corporate America in the 90's

    You know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if: - You've sat at the same desk for…
  • Default Image

    Parking Space Sign Language

    After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping…
  • Default Image

    Family Togetherness

    An older woman recently returned from her hometown in North Carolina and told a friend…
  • Default Image

    100 GB

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
  • Default Image

    First Case Tried

    An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so…
  • Default Image

    Day of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
  • Default Image

    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse

    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse USA Today:WE'RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal:DOW…
  • Default Image

    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
  • Default Image

    Bare Bones Moving

    The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping…
  • Default Image

    Gore Flubs

    We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al…

Why didn't somebody tell me?

With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old & feeble.

I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for: Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

There is city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And - you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?

So: When I reach the Golden age I'll face it with a grin.

Just forward all my email to me @ Holiday Inn.

Powered By JFBConnect