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More Jokes

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    Mother Ring

    While picking up a prescription, I noticed that the woman who gave me my medication was…
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    Failing Eyesight

    An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on her later in the day. She was…
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    Extra Fudge

    I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot…
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    Fish Tattoo

    As an obstetrician, I sometimes see unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery.…
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    Tracing Family

    Dear Abby:I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to…
  • A joke about a boss's speech that goes too long.

    Blah Blah Blah

    The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his…
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    Bagel Shop Student

    "Hello Mrs. Frobisher" said the bearded guy behind the counter at the bagel shop. My…
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    Oriskany Falls

    The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so…
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    Bumper Stickers

    If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You Forget World Peace -- Visualize…
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    Dishwasher Repair

    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work…
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    Birthday Wish

    A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday."I'd like a little…
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    Buy A Verdict

    Murphy, a dishonest lawyer, bribed a man on his client's jury to hold out for a charge of…
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    Valentine's Day

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Behavior Modification

    One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office.When I walked…
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    Dynamite Bumps

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…

Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting ready to go out to dinner.

Shirley says, "Abe, darling, do you want me to wear this Chanel suit or the Gucci?"

Abe says, "Do I care?"

A few minutes later Shirley says, "Abe, should I wear my Cartier watch or my Rolex?"

Abe says, "Who cares?"

A few more minutes pass and Shirley says, "Abe, love, shall I wear my five-carat pear diamond ring or my six-carat round diamond ring with the baguettes?"

Abe says, "Shirley, I really don't care what you wear, but if you don't get moving, we're going to miss the Early Bird Special."

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