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    Laws of Household Physics

    Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of…
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    Scheduled Shot

    At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a…
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    Late at Walmart

    Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on…
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    Mr. Jones Is History

    Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from…
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    Needled

    At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going…
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    Chose Your Weapon

    Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn…
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    Unique Breakfast

    A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read Unique Breakfast, so he…
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    Glass Honesty

    As the three ladies picked up a menu, each put on a pair of glasses."I really only need…
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    Campaign Funding

    Can you believe a candidate dropped out of the race because of a lack of campaign funds?…
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    Goober Mom Writes Goober Son

    Dear Son, I am writing slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we…
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    Longevity Answer

    The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benny was coming up to his 110th birthday so they…
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    Never Be Late

    A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A…
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    Labor Pains

    When I was a mother's helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three…
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    Cow Predictions

    A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of…
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    Vicar's Surprise

    A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three-month…

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 PM for 20 cents.

I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $3.50.

Then my wife's father died and left us ten million dollars."

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